


Five Times Parker and Hardison Didn't Exactly Have Sex And One Time They Definitely Did (And One Time They Definitely Did With Eliot)

by leiascully



Series: Gratuitously Sexy [1]
Category: Leverage
Genre: Ace Spectrum Parker (Leverage), F/M, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Hot Tub Sex, Massage, Multi, Mutual Masturbation, Parker (Leverage)-centric, Sex Education, Sex Toys, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:14:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25217599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leiascully/pseuds/leiascully
Summary: Parker and Hardison figure out how to take their relationship to the next level, with occasional input from Eliot.
Relationships: Alec Hardison/Parker, Alec Hardison/Parker/Eliot Spencer
Series: Gratuitously Sexy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1834363
Comments: 99
Kudos: 231





	1. Foreplay

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline: Season 5  
> Author's note: I don't really know why I felt compelled to write this story, but here it is. Please enjoy a light-hearted sexy romp with lots of flirting and background foundations for the OT3 being laid. And then the OT3 gets laid, because I couldn't leave Eliot out in the cold.  
> Disclaimer: No profit is made from this work and no infringement is intended.
> 
> I think this story will make it very clear that I certainly don't think that penetrative sex is the be-all, end-all, definitive idea of sex. As a queer person, I honestly think pretty much all of this is sex, except for the massages. Sex is hard to define when you liberate it from the traditional vaginal/anal/oral model. But it did give Parker something to work toward, and there's certainly an intimacy to that kind of contact that's almost inescapable, and definitely a jump from some of the other things they do in this story.

"Portland, huh?" Eliot said. He'd gotten tan, Parker thought. She wondered where he'd been. She wondered if he'd brought them souvenirs. Maybe something shiny. 

"Seems like it." Hardison smiled. "And hey, this is a sweet setup." He nodded toward the corner. "Put in a heavy bag in case you need some practice."

"I guess what I need is an apartment," Eliot said. "And a fake ID and a pile of cash to get an apartment."

"Live with us," Parker said. "There's like three empty rooms up there and we've got way better security than a hotel." 

"Until I find a place?" Eliot nodded. "Thanks."

"Or forever," Parker said, with a shrug. "It's not like we spent a lot of time at our own places anyway. We're either on a job together or on vacation halfway across the world."

"We definitely have enough cereal for three," Hardison said, smiling at her. 

"You can't have my cereal," she said. "But we can get some more." 

"I'll think about it," Eliot said. He squinted at them. "Wouldn't want to get in the way."

"Of what?" Parker asked. 

"This," Eliot said, gesturing at the two of them. "You. Congrats officially on your relationship, by the way."

"Thanks, man," Hardison said. 

"Yes!" Parker said. "We're dating. Definitely doing all the stuff that people who are dating do. Kissing. Eating dinner together. Sleeping in the same bed sometimes. All that stuff." 

"Uh, thank you for clarifying," Hardison said. "I'm sure Eliot needed to be reassured that we were doing all the stuff that dating people do, because he is just so damn invested in the particulars of our relationship."

Eliot leaned on the counter. Parker leaned toward him. "So you've had sex?"

"Definitely," Parker said with confidence. 

"Uh, no, we haven't," Hardison said. "We're easing into things. Taking our time. Although we do live together. And I guess you live with us too now." 

"Yeah, that's not awkward," Eliot said under his breath.

"I thought we had sex the other day," Parker said, sitting up. "You know. On the couch." 

Hardison made a face. "Baby, I massaged your feet while we watched _Doctor Who _. That's not sex."__

__"We made an emotional connection doing physical things. I took my clothes off. Well, my socks. I thought you said that's what sex was." She frowned._ _

__"Wow," Eliot said. He shook his head. "You told her you have to take your clothes off to have sex?"_ _

__"Don't you?" Parker asked._ _

__Eliot waggled his eyebrows at her._ _

__"I mean, yes, that's what sex is, but that's not all sex is," Hardison said. "There's more to it than that."_ _

__"Explain," Parker said, leaning on her elbows on the counter again._ _

__"Sex is..." Hardison began and then trailed off._ _

__Eliot took a seat. He looked like he was settling in for a show._ _

__"Eliot?" Hardison said. "You just gonna hang out, man?"_ _

__"Yeah, I think I am," Eliot said. He made a face that even Parker could tell was insincere. "I missed you guys so much."_ _

__Hardison shot him a look. "Well. Parker. Sex is...yes, you make an emotional connection with another person. You do physical things. Intimate physical things. Sometimes with your clothes off. Things that...bring you pleasure. In your...genitals."_ _

__"Oh," she said. "Then I had sex with Eliot."_ _

__"What?" Eliot said. "No. Absolutely not. I would remember that."_ _

__"The job in Delhi?" she said. "I had to ride on the motorcycle with you. The engine was very buzzy. I felt something, um, somewhere. I liked it. That's pleasure, right?"_ _

__"I mean, that's a start," Eliot said, crossing his arms thoughtfully. He looked at Hardison and scowled again. "But no, Parker, we did not have sex on my motorcycle."_ _

__"It seemed pretty intimate," Parker said. "I had my arms and legs around you. Your hair was in my face. I thought that was supposed to be sexy." She pushed her hands through her hair to illustrate._ _

__"All right, all right," Hardison said._ _

__"Both people have to know about it for it to be sex," Eliot said. "Or however many people."_ _

__"That is definitely going to confuse the issue," Hardison said, pointing at Eliot._ _

__Eliot shrugged. "I'm just here to educate. You asked for my help a minute ago."_ _

__"That is not helping," Hardison told him._ _

__"I think Eliot's very helpful," Parker said. "I'm learning a lot. Motorcycles are sexy but not sex."_ _

__"Do you feel that way about the motorcycle I got you?" Hardison asked._ _

__Parker considered it. "No," she said. "I like it a lot, but it wasn't the same feeling. I just like to go fast. Feel the wind in my hair."_ _

__"I can drive your motorcycle," Eliot said. "If I have to. Just sayin'."_ _

__Parker blew out a breath. "Sex is confusing."_ _

__"You got that right," Hardison said._ _

__"Sex is the least confusing thing," Eliot told them._ _

__"Okay, you explain it," Hardison said. He had that grumpy little crinkle between his eyes. Parker wanted to kiss it._ _

__"Yeah, you explain it," Parker said. "You've had a lot of sex, right? A lot of sex."_ _

__Eliot shook his hair back the way he did when he was ready to be the center of attention. "Fine. As the resident sex expert — Hardison, do not say 'sexpert' — I will share my wisdom with you."_ _

__"As long as you don't say anything is 'very distinctive'," Hardison mumbled._ _

__"Sex is a lot of things," Eliot said. "Basically anything you want it to be. I mean, whatever I try to tell you sex is, there's always an exception. Clothes off, clothes on, all kinds of activities and accessories, touching, no touching, whatever. But what it comes down to is this: people agreeing to offer each other pleasure. It's usually a physical pleasure, but there's also a mental and emotional component. Sometimes not a long-lasting one, but it's there."_ _

__"So a foot massage," Parker said._ _

__"Not sex," mumbled Hardison._ _

__"Could be the beginning of sex," Eliot said. "Parker, sex is like a long con. You make somebody want to give you what you want by giving them something they want. If it's good, everybody wins."_ _

__"Don't tell her that," Hardison said, looking alarmed._ _

__"Just tryin' to put it in her terms," Eliot said. "Maybe you want to touch them all over, but they aren't real touchy, and so you start with a foot massage. Maybe the next time it's the feet and the legs. Maybe you work your way up to some other zones." He waved his hand vaguely over his chest and crotch. "The most important thing is that it feels good and you both want it. I'd say use your instincts, but I guess you don't have those instincts."_ _

__"It felt good," Parker told Hardison._ _

__"Yeah, but it's not like you can have an orgasm from a foot massage," Hardison said, and then rolled his eyes at Eliot, who was smirking very gently. "Most people."_ _

__"What's an orgasm?" Parker asked._ _

__They both looked at each other. "She's your girlfriend," Eliot said._ _

__"Okay, well. An orgasm is when you feel so much pleasure that you just...explode," Hardison said._ _

__"You explode?" Parker heard her voice get squeaky with alarm._ _

__"You don't physically explode," Eliot corrected, and then winced like he wasn't sure that was the right thing to say. "You know when you jump off a building?"_ _

__Parker nodded._ _

__"So you're running and running and then you leap and there's that moment before gravity catches up to you," Eliot said. "That's like an orgasm."_ _

__"Only inside your body," Hardison said. "And it feels really really good. Unlike falling, which is terrifying."_ _

__"For God's sake, just watch some porn or something," Eliot growled at Hardison._ _

__"Porn is going to give her all the wrong ideas!" Hardison said. "So many wrong ideas."_ _

__"We could watch porn," Parker said. "Eliot, do you want to watch porn with us?"_ _

__"No!" Eliot said._ _

__She frowned at him. "Geez, I'm just asking. You probably know what the good ones are."_ _

__"I don't watch porn, Parker," Eliot said, scowling. "I get laid. Besides, it's unrealistic. Nobody just whips it out and suddenly everyone's begging for it."_ _

__"Then why did you say we should watch it?" Hardison asked him in exasperation._ _

__"Because sex is apparently impossible to explain!" Eliot said back. Parker cupped her chin in her hands and watched them. "Find a damn sex ed video, then."_ _

__In desperation, Hardison brought up a sex ed video on the display._ _

__"I'm going upstairs," Eliot told them. "If I'm gonna live here, I'm picking a room."_ _

__"Don't take our room," Parker called after him absently. "It's the one with our stuff in it."_ _

__"I think I could have figured that out," Eliot told her._ _

__Parker watched the video. Beside her, Hardison had his face in his hands._ _

__"There's a lot about sperm," Parker said dubiously. "I don't think I want to have a baby. Also, I don't think your penis looks like a banana. I mean, I haven't really looked at it."_ _

__"It most definitely does not look like a banana," Hardison assured her._ _

__"Good," Parker said. "Does Eliot's?"_ _

__"I have almost no way of knowing," Hardison said. "Except there was that one time we were changing really fast so yes, I do actually know that Eliot's penis does not look like a banana."_ _

__Parker nodded. "It's weird that she uses a banana, then."_ _

__"This is for middle schoolers, Parker," Hardison said. "She can't use a real picture of a penis. It would be inappropriate."_ _

__"But she's teaching them about their own bodies," Parker said. "Why would it be inappropriate? We all have bodies. If I wanted to teach people about their elbows, I wouldn't use a picture of a straw or something."_ _

__"It just is," Hardison said into his hands. "I can't explain it." He raised his head. "Maybe we can skip ahead."_ _

__"Good," Parker said. "Because I don't think my vagina looks like an avocado."_ _

__"You have to know some of this anyway," Hardison mumbled. "You went through puberty. You get your period. You know about ovaries and such."_ _

__"None of this is about pleasure," Parker said. "It's all about getting pregnant and diseases. That's not what you and Eliot said at all. I thought sex was supposed to be fun. This just looks kind of terrifying."_ _

__"The state of American education," Hardison said, and clicked on another video. "Maybe this one will be more useful."_ _

__They watched it for a few minutes._ _

__"Do you masturbate?" Parker asked._ _

__"I have been known to pleasure myself from time to time," Hardison said._ _

__"The video said a lot of men do it every day," Parker said._ _

__"From time to time," Hardison repeated deliberately, not looking at her._ _

__"What does it feel like?" Parker asked._ _

__Hardison sighed. "You know the feeling you get when you see a huge pile of money?"_ _

__"Yeahhhh," Parker said, smiling to herself._ _

__"Kind of like that," Hardison said. "I'm guessing."_ _

__"Seems messy though," Parker said. "Money's not messy."_ _

__"It can be," Hardison said._ _

__Parker leaned toward him. "Hey. This is all super confusing, but I want to have sex with you. Whatever sex is."_ _

__"I appreciate that," Hardison told her._ _

__"Do you want to have sex with me?" she asked._ _

__He blew out a long breath. "Yes, I very much do," he said. "But only when you're ready. It can be a big step. Like Eliot said, it seems like it's mostly physical, but there is a lot of emotional stuff that goes into it. Sometimes it's uncomfortable. It can be a lot to take in." He paused. "I'm glad Eliot left, because I do not want to hear 'that's what she said' right now."_ _

__"So pull a long con," she said, leaning forward and touching his knee. "Convince me that I want what you want me to want."_ _

__"What?" he said. "No, Parker, I'm not going to con you."_ _

__"Not a real con," she insisted. "Like Eliot said. Start with a foot massage. Then do a little more. Then a little more. Eventually, sex. That way we'll both be ready. Although I don't really see why it's a big deal."_ _

__"Sometimes it's not," Hardison said, taking her hand. "It's one of those things you don't know until you know. But you're important to me. This is important to me. And I don't want to mess it up by pushing you too far too fast."_ _

__"You won't," she assured him. "I trust you."_ _

__"So I should think of things that are sexy but not exactly sex," he said._ _

__"Sure," she said._ _

__He nodded slowly. "I can do that."_ _

__She kissed him on the cheek. "I know you can."_ _

__He smiled at her. "Should we go see if Eliot tried to move all our stuff out of the big bedroom?"_ _

__"Yeah, probably," she said, and they went upstairs, hand in hand._ _


	2. Vibin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hardison buys Parker a vibrator.

"About our special, very personal, sexy long con," Hardison said, a few days later. Parker looked down at him from her harness. "I had an idea."

She spooled down to him. "Shoot." 

"So, I remember you liked the engine vibrations from the motorcycle," he said. "And just so we're clear, we're not going to talk about Eliot right now."

"Okay," she said. "No Eliot. Got it. Motorcycles only."

"This is not a motorcycle," Hardison said. "But it might evoke some of the same sensations." He held out a U-shaped purple gadget. Parker took it. It was soft on the outside, but she could feel something firm inside it. The ends were ridged a little on the inside of the U. The bigger end had two silvery buttons on it. 

"It's definitely not a motorcycle," she said. "What is it?"

Hardison held up his phone. He tapped the screen and the gadget started buzzing. "It's a vibrator."

"Because it vibrates," she said. "I get it."

"As you seem to have experienced before, in a context we are not discussing anymore," Hardison said, "vibration can feel good on certain parts of the body. Erogenous zones."

"I see," she said. "So it goes in my vagina."

He almost didn't sputter. "Yeah, or you can use it to stimulate other areas, but that's what it's designed for. The smaller end goes inside. The bigger end goes outside. It holds itself in place."

"And then it vibrates and feels good," she said. 

"That's the plan," he told her. He handed her a remote. "You can control it yourself with this or the buttons that are on it, or I can control it with the app."

"So you're touching me, but not really touching me." She pressed the buttons on the remote and the vibrator buzzed frantically. "Huh. Powerful."

"Yeah, we should probably start with a gentle setting," Hardison said. "It also has different patterns." He clicked on his phone and the buzzing changed to a throb. He turned it off again. "I thought maybe you could try it out while you're in the harness. That way, you kind of feel held, but I'm not actually touching you in case that's too much."

"I like it," she said. "It's a good idea." She kissed him on the cheek. "Let's do it."

"Right now?" he asked. "Just like that."

She shrugged. "Why not? I wasn't doing anything important."

"Okay, I guess we're doing this," he said. 

"Good," she said. 

"You might want to go to the bathroom to put it in," he said. "Wash it off a little. And just in case." He handed her a little packet. "Lube. It, uh, makes things slippery." 

"Things like my vagina," she said. 

He winced and nodded. "Yes. Things like that. Sometimes if you're already turned on, you know, feeling like you want to have sex, you might not need it, but I don't think my foot massages are that powerful that they'd last a week."

"For someone who says he wants to be inside my vagina someday, you're kind of shy about it," she told him.

"I'm just not used to people being so direct," he told her. "Most people kind of talk about all this stuff sideways. You don't. I love that about you, but it's different."

"Okay," she said. "Big end out. Small end in. Lube if needed." She smiled at him. "Kind of like a lock."

"Maybe," he said dubiously. 

She unhooked herself from the rig and went into the bathroom to take her pants off. She washed the vibrator and squeezed some lube over it. It wasn't difficult to slide in, and like Hardison had told her, it stayed put as she moved around. She put her clothes back on. The vibrator pressed against a place inside her that almost felt good, but almost felt like she needed to pee, and the lube felt slick and wet.

"Comfortable?" Hardison asked when she came back out.

She shimmied her hips. "Not bad."

"Still into it?" he asked. 

"Yep," she said. She strapped herself back into the harness. "Let's do this." She pulled herself up a few feet, dangling above Hardison's head. 

He gazed up at her. "Is it you or me?"

"You start," she said. "I don't know what the buttons on the remote do yet."

"Okay," he said. "Now, bear in mind this is not always the way things would start. Usually there'd be some kissing, some cuddling, all that good stuff."

"Uh huh," she said. "Hit the button."

He did. The vibrator purred inside her.

"Oh," she said. "Okay."

"You good?" Hardison asked.

"Yeah," she said, staring at the ceiling. "I'm pretty good."

The buzzing spread through her, tingly and warm. It felt like snowflakes at Christmas. It felt like the way light glittered off expensive jewelry. It felt like money. She hung in her harness and kicked her feet a little. 

"Parker?" 

"Mmm?" she said. 

"Are you okay?" Hardison asked.

She laughed. "It's kind of funny."

"It's funny?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said. "I don't know. My whole body feels sparkly." 

"Is that good?" he asked. 

"It's really good," she said. "I'm just really happy it's good."

"Did you think it wouldn't be?" he asked.

"I don't know," she said. "I wasn't sure it would be anything. I never cared enough about sex before to try any of this. I kind of thought I wouldn't be able to feel anything." She laughed again, soft and delighted. 

"I'm glad you were wrong," he told her. 

"Me too," she said. "I'm not broken."

"Parker," he said gently, "baby. You were never broken. You were just you." 

"I know," she said. "But it's hard not to believe it sometimes." She drifted for a moment, the pleasure like a warm bath. "I know this doesn't mean I'm fixed. I know I don't need fixing. But it's nice to know that this is something I can do too, if I want to."

"Yeah," Hardison said. "I'm just glad you're happy."

"Me too," she said. 

It really did feel kind of like money, she thought. Like everything in and around her body was softly textured, creating a delicious gentle friction. Like the fabric that skimmed over her skin was luxurious. Like the air itself was shifting colors as she looked at it: the lights brighter, the colors richer. 

"Turn it up," she said. 

"You sure?"

She grinned. "Yeah."

 _Oh. Yeah._ She let her head loll back and her limbs go slack. 

"You good up there?" Hardison asked. "I know I keep asking, but I can't really tell."

"So good," she said. "Like non-sequential unmarked hundreds."

"That sounds pretty good," he said. 

"Mm," she said. The vibrator kept purring away, firm and steady. She found herself arching against it. Pleasure washed around and around in her body, like a grid of lasers that lit her up everywhere. It felt sharper now, but not bad. More intense, more targeted. Pleasure had cased her joint and now it knew her points of least resistance. 

"More," she said.

"You have a remote," Hardison pointed out. "You can drive if you want."

"I like asking you," she said, looking down at him. "I like knowing I feel this way because of you."

"Damn, girl," he said. "Direct works for you." He tapped the phone. The buzzing sped up, so insistent she could feel it in her bones. "What's it feel like now? A hundred grand?"

"Like clean diamonds," she told him. "Sharp edges. Very bright. Ahhh." The sensations were intensifying now. Her body moved independent of her mind, tensing and arching, trying to make it even more intense. Eliot was right: she felt like she was running toward some kind of precipice. There was a point of no return and she was heading straight for it. It was too much to handle on her own. She flailed her arm downward and Hardison caught and held her hand. She squeezed his fingers and he pressed back.

"I'm here, baby," he said. 

"Good," she said. She squirmed in the harness, restless, pleasure pushing and pushing her toward that edge. She could feel how close she was, though she wasn't sure to what. She held Hardison's hand. 

"Talk to me," she said, and listened to his voice, not even processing his words. He was telling her something about how beautiful she was, how much he loved her, how brave she was to try this, and the rumble of his voice blended into the hum of the vibrator in her bones and she was flying, soaring free and completely still all at once, pleasure rushing past her like air whistling in her ears. Then the harness caught her and she could hear Hardison again. All of a sudden, the buzzing was too much, almost painful. 

"Turn it off." She gripped Hardison's hand. He tapped his phone and the vibrator went still inside her. It still pressed against newly tender parts of her she didn't have a name for yet, but it wasn't moving anymore and that made it bearable. Her fingers trembled as she let herself down a few feet into Hardison's arms.

"That was...amazing," she told him.

"You were amazing," he said, and kissed her forehead.

"I didn't do anything," she told him.

"You trusted me," he said. "That's not nothing, Parker. You let me make you feel good and that's never nothing. It takes a lot of courage."

"That's nice," she said. "I like being brave."

He chuckled. "You are gone, aren't you, baby."

"No, I'm right here," she said. "Really sleepy, though. Is it always sleepy?"

"It's pretty common," he assured her. "Let's get you down and then you can go have a nap."

"Okay," she said, and let him unstrap her from the harness. She reached into her pants and fumbled the vibrator out. It was even more slippery than it had been going in. That was interesting. She held it for a moment and then put it in her pocket for lack of anything else to do with it. She tried to take a few steps, but her legs were wobbly. Hardison caught her as she fell against him.

"Whoa there," he said, and picked her up. He carried her over to the couch. "Here, you just rest a little while."

"Okay," she said, and closed her eyes, smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hardison's gift to Parker is a We Vibe and he did indeed buy it anticipating its use as a partnered toy.


	3. Hot Tub Sex Machine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parker and Hardison don't have sex in the hot tub.

"Hardison and I had sex," she announced to Eliot. She was sitting in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal. Eliot pushed his hair back.

"Great," he said. "We don't do 'hello' anymore, huh?"

"I just thought you should know," Parker told him.

"I'm just here to make dinner," he said, raising his hands. "I don't need to know all the details."

"I thought you were interested in our lives," Parker said. "You asked the other day."

"I was giving you shit," Eliot said. 

"Also why are you making dinner, it's 11 a.m.," Parker said.

"Good things take time," Eliot said. "If we want dessert tonight, I have to make this chocolate pudding now. It needs time to set."

"You can _make_ chocolate pudding?" Parker said, her eyes widening.

"It's nothing fancy," Eliot said. "Just my mama's chocolate pudding pie. Don't get excited." He tied half his hair back. "Felt like making a taste of home today."

"Chocolate pudding is always exciting," Parker said. "I didn't know you could make chocolate pudding."

"Nothing to it," Eliot said. 

Parker cupped her chin in her hands. "It's fancy to me."

He ducked his head and smiled at her. "Well, I can't do all that bendy thief stuff, so we all have our talents."

"Teach me," she said.

He nodded. "Yeah. My mama would like that." He jerked his head. "Watch and learn."

She hopped off her chair and slid around the edge of the counter. "I didn't know your mom taught you to cook."

"She didn't," Eliot said, "but I watched her make this so many times I don't need the recipe." He moved around the kitchen, gathering the ingredients and slinging a towel over his shoulder. "Crust first," he said. "It needs to bake." 

She watched him chop butter into flour, pinching a little bit of salt into the mixture. His hands looked so sure as he worked the dough into crumbs and then added ice water. "You're not even measuring anything."

He shrugged. "There's a point where you just know how a thing works. It just takes time. I'll write it down for you." 

"I don't like the wait," she said. "I never felt like I had time before."

"You do now," he said. "We all have time."

She nodded. "I like that."

"So," he said, wrapping the dough up in plastic and putting it in the freezer and turning on the oven, "while that chills, tell me about you and Hardison."

"I thought you didn't want to hear it." She traced a drop of water across the counter with her fingertip.

He squinted at her. "Sophie's not around to talk to you about these things anymore. I kind of live with you two now. It might as well be my business." He smirked. "Besides, I definitely know more about sex than Hardison."

"I don't know," Parker said. "He's pretty great at it."

"So you did the deed, huh," Eliot said, separating eggs into two little bowls. "Got naked. Touched each other all over."

"Sort of," Parker said. "There was definitely pleasure and he definitely caused it. That's what you said, right?"

"Do I even wanna know," Eliot grumbled. He turned on the stove, adding the yolks of his eggs to a pan with some sugar.

"He bought me a remote-controlled vibrator," Parker said. 

"Of course he did," Eliot said. 

"But it counts," Parker said. "It was all the things you said it was. I mean, I was in my harness, but he held my hand." 

"Sure," Eliot said. He peered at his egg mixture and added cocoa powder and flour. "Usually when I have sex, it's a little more mutual, but it counts if you want it to count. Whisk this."

"Why wouldn't it count?" Parker demanded. She took the whisk and stirred the pudding-to-be vigorously.

"I can't explain it," Eliot said. "I just know how it works. And if it works for you, that's what matters. Plenty of times I've put my own enjoyment second."

"But you don't think it counts because I didn't give Hardison pleasure," Parker said. "Because I'm the only one who had an orgasm."

"That is the opposite of what I said," Eliot pointed out. "Which, for the record, is that sex is what you say it is most of the time, and if you think you had sex, you had sex. Slow down that whisk." He poured milk into the pudding and took the whisk back.

"But it's how you feel," Parker insisted. "Hardison didn't have an orgasm and I did, and we weren't touching very much. You don't think that's sex."

Eliot sighed. "Look. Most of the time, I sleep with women whose definitions of sex are pretty simple. It's easy for me to say, yes, I had sex, or no, I didn't. But you have to draw that line for yourself. Everybody's different. Hell, every body's different. What you want and need isn't always what other people want or need."

"What would you call it, if it were you?" Parker asked, leaning on the counter.

"If it were me?" Eliot said. "I'd call it teasing. Foreplay. A preview of the main attraction. But if that's the whole event, then there's no reason it's not sex."

"Maybe that was enough," Parker said. "It was a lot for me."

"That, once again, is why I have said repeatedly that yes, if you believe in your heart and soul that you had sex with Hardison and his robot, then you absolutely did."

"Did I come into this conversation at a weird place, or was it just all weird?" Hardison asked.

"It's all been weird," Eliot assured him. "Not trying to overstep."

"Honestly, I'd rather that she talk to you about it than Peggy or Amy," Hardison said. "You're not going to look at me funny." He smirked. "Robots or no robots."

"Hey, we all use a mechanical aid once in a while," Eliot said, smirking back. "My hands get tired faster than they used to."

"Do you think we had sex?" Parker asked Hardison.

"Baby, why does it matter?" Hardison asked.

"I've never done any of this before," Parker told him. "I want to do it right."

Hardison sighed. "Is it like the sex I've had with other people? Not exactly. Is it the sex I'm having with you? Yes. Am I happy and satisfied? Absolutely."

"Told you," Eliot said, taking his pie dough out of the freezer. He rolled it into a circle, the muscles in his forearms standing out as he pushed the dough flat. "You stir that slowly now. Watch for it to boil."

"Eliot said it was foreplay." Parker hitched herself up on the counter and sat stirring the pudding.

"I only said it could be," Eliot corrected, getting out a pie tin and flopping the dough into it. He pushed the dough into the tin, crimping the edge with his fingertips. 

"You didn't have an orgasm," Parker said to Hardison.

He leaned on the counter next to her. "If I feel like I'm missing out, I'll tell you. I have plenty of practice taking care of myself."

"Eliot, it's boiling," Parker announced.

"Keep stirring," he said. He got a fork out of the drawer and poked the crust all over, then nested a piece of parchment paper in it. He pulled a tin of something that rattled out of a drawer and dumped them into the tin with the crust.

"What are those?" Parker asked.

"Pie weights," Eliot told her. "They keep the crust from puffing up when all that butter melts and makes it all flaky." He slid the tin into the oven and took the whisk from her. "Good work."

"I always do good work," Parker said brightly. Eliot whisked the pudding a little longer and then turned off the heat. He poured a little vanilla into it and tossed in two chunks of butter. He handed the whisk back to Parker.

"Stir," he said. She stirred. 

"What's masturbating like?" she asked Hardison, who sputtered into his orange soda. 

"It's...fine," he said. "It feels good."

"Eliot?" she said. 

"Absolutely not," Eliot said. "The only thing I'm paying attention to right now is pie crust." He put on some oven mitts and opened the oven. The pie crust came out golden and gorgeous and he set it on a rack to cool.

"It's personal, Parker," Hardison said. "A lot of people use toys like yours. Usually the point is to, uh, have an orgasm."

"So then what's the difference between an orgasm and sex?" Parker asked. "If sex is all about having orgasms." She made exaggerated finger quotes and rolled her eyes. 

"It's more...mutual," Hardison said. 

Eliot sighed. "I have an idea." He looked at Hardison. "Permission to illustrate."

"Sounds like you need her permission," Hardison said. 

"It's not exactly sexy," Eliot said. "I just don't want to overstep."

"Go ahead," Hardison said, gesturing. "I clearly don't have the right words to illuminate this situation." 

"And I have a lot more game than you," Eliot teased. 

"I wish I could deny it," Hardison said. 

Eliot opened the drawer and got out two spoons. He took the whisk from Parker and handed her a spoon. 

"Go on," he said. "Get some pudding." He held up a stern finger. "One dip only - that spoon doesn't touch that pudding again." 

She frowned at him and dipped her spoon in the pudding. "Am I allowed to eat this educational pudding?" 

Eliot nodded. Parker put the spoon to her lips. The scent of chocolate hit her nose and the taste of chocolate flooded her brain. It was good pudding. Nothing like some of the fancier dishes Eliot had made, but better than the Snack Packs she kept in the cupboard. It tasted real. It tasted like somebody cared about her. She smiled. 

"Tasty, right?" Eliot said. 

"Mmmmmm," she agreed. He took the spoon gently out of her hand and tossed it into the sink. With his remaining clean spoon, he got another spoonful of pudding. He came closer to Parker, standing in the space between her knees and leaning in slowly, his hand braced on the counter next to her thigh.

"Parker," he said in a low voice. 

"What," she said.

"I made this pudding for you," he said in that same gentle rasp. He was looking intently at her. His eyes were soft. "I think you're really going to like it."

"I already like it," she said. 

"I think you're going to enjoy it even more when I feed it to you," he said. He smiled at her. Her heart thumped. She couldn't stop looking into his eyes. "We made it together. From my mama's recipe. It's gonna make a tasty chocolate pie later. But right now, it's warm, and it's sweet, and I want you to have some of it. Is that all right?"

"Yeah," she said, half-hypnotized. 

"Open up," he said, and slipped the spoon in as she opened her mouth. Her lips closed around the spoon and there was the chocolate again, the richness of it on her tongue. Eliot drew the spoon out slowly. 

"Close your eyes," he said, and she did. The flavor bloomed in her mouth, more than before. "Taste that cocoa. We went to the store, remember, and we got the good stuff. And the salt in there, that's sea salt. They harvest it by hand in France. It sets off the sweetness of the local milk I bought. Real milk, with cream on the top." She could taste it all, every bit of work and care that had gone into making it. Eliot had given her a gift, sharing the task of making his mother's pie. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her face, and she could sense the way his arms bracketed her body, the way her knees bracketed his hips without touching. 

"Open your eyes, Parker," Eliot told her. She did, and there he was again, almost close enough to taste. She smiled at him and he smiled back, soft and easy as dawn breaking.

"Hey," he said softly. "How was it?"

"Better," she said, still caught in his gaze. "More."

"That's sex," he said, leaning away from her.

"Hell, if the pudding's that good, I want some," Hardison said. 

Eliot rolled his eyes at him. "Get a spoon."

"Oh, so she gets the full experience, but I don't?" Hardison grumbled. "Typical. I buy you a brew pub and this is the thanks I get." 

Eliot grabbed another spoon and stuck it in the pudding. He brandished it toward Hardison. "Here."

"No, sir," Hardison said. "You feed it to me all sensual-like." He slouched against the counter next to Parker. 

Eliot stepped closer and put his hand around the back of Hardison's head. "Hardison," he said in a voice a little grittier than the one he'd used with Parker, "I was gonna make you dinner as a surprise. Now it's less of a surprise."

"You know just what a man likes to hear," Hardison said. "What else besides chocolate pudding pie?"

"Found some nice fish at the market," Eliot said. "Since we don't have time to go fishing. Might make some grits to go with it, or I might just fry it up and make some hush puppies." 

"I like the sound of this," Hardison said. "Tell me to close my eyes."

"Close your eyes," Eliot growled quietly, and Hardison did, and Eliot fed him the spoonful of pudding. Parker watched Hardison's jaw work, and she watched the way Eliot watched him with tenderness creased at the corners of his eyes even if the rest of his face was annoyed. She sat very still. Her heart was still beating fast and she felt just a little tingly. She got tinglier when she looked at Hardison, the way his lashes lay against his cheek as he savored the pudding she and Eliot had made.

"Cocoa," Hardison said, "I'm tasting salt, milk, sugar, uh huh. All of that. And the secret ingredient, which I can only assume is love."

"I don't make fun of your stuff," Eliot grumbled, pulling away.

"First of all, you making fun of or deliberately misunderstanding my so-called stuff is approximately 80% of our conversations," Hardison said, opening his eyes. "Second of all, I wasn't making fun of it. It tastes home-cooked. That's love." He clapped Eliot on the shoulder. "It's cool, man. I know you love me."

Eliot grunted under his breath and picked up the pie tin. He pulled the corners of the paper together and lifted the pie weights out. They rattled back into their container. He scooped the pudding out of its pan, scraping around the inside and smoothing the top of the pudding pie. He turned to put in the fridge. 

"Parker," Hardison said. "Earth to Parker."

"Hmm?" she said. 

"Did Eliot's pudding experiment illuminate anything for you?" He bumped his shoulder playfully against her arm.

"I think it did," she said. "I need to feed you pudding."

"I'm not against it," Hardison told her, "but I'm not sure that was the whole thing." 

She flapped her hand at him. "It's a metaphor. Sort of. I might actually also feed you pudding." 

"If you say so," Hardison said dubiously.

"It's about trust," she said to Eliot. "And anticipation. And making something together. When you share the effort, the pleasure's even better. I knew you were enjoying the fact that I enjoyed it and that made it more. Plus, I had a stake in it being good, because I helped make it."

He nodded. "Sometimes it's easier to explain things with food."

"I'm sure it didn't hurt the explanation any that he was all up on you," Hardison said.

"I wasn't all up on her," Eliot grumbled. 

"It helped," Parker said to Hardison. "It's like my body knows things I don't understand."

"I love you talking about trust," Hardison said to Eliot. "I hope you give a little lecture to all your one-night stands. Maybe a pamphlet."

"I trust them while we're together," Eliot said. "Just because it's not forever doesn't mean there's not some kind of understanding while it's happening."

"There's also an understanding of when and how it will end," Hardison teased. "Which is right before breakfast."

"Nothing wrong with that," Eliot said. "As long as everyone's clear about the situation."

"I'm going for a run," Parker said. Her head was too cluttered with thoughts. A run would ease the nervous energy jittering in her limbs and belly. 

"Uh, okay," Hardison said. "See you later?"

She smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek before she hopped off the counter. "Yeah. I'll be back before dinner."

"You better be," Eliot said. "Fried fish waits for no one." 

She changed quickly and set out on her usual route, the one that offered plenty of detours down alleys with climbing potential if no one was looking. The run helped and didn't help; her thoughts were calmer after a couple of miles, but she could still feel the blood thrumming in her veins. A few more miles and a few more walls to scale let her sort out her thoughts a little. Love, she thought. Trust. Not the mutually assured destruction she'd been caught up in a few times, but mutually assured delight and support. Somehow that kind of kindness was almost too much in a way that danger wasn't. 

Maybe she really was just broken in the brain from too many years of lonely scheming. Hardison spent his days hooked up to a network and still managed to talk to people face to face, and the hands that Eliot used to inflict painful justice could be gentle and nurturing. It was only Parker who couldn't come down from her lofty perch and interact with people. Even now, when she wanted to be closer to Hardison, it wasn't easy. 

She pushed herself harder on the long run home and ended up gasping with her hands on her knees in the alley behind the Bridgeport. She jumped up and caught the ladder of the fire escape, pulling herself up, and climbed in through the window of the apartment that Hardison left open for her just in case. A lot of stretching and a shower helped her calm down again. She got dressed again and went into the kitchen. Eliot was frying fish. A bowl of coleslaw and a dish of red beans and rice were steaming on the table. Parker collected what she needed to set the table, moving smoothly around Eliot as he pivoted between the fryer and the counter.

"Better?" he asked her.

She nodded. "Better."

"I wasn't trying to get under your skin," he said.

"You helped," she told him. "Really. You helped. And you made chocolate pie. That's good too."

"Okay," he said, and turned back to the fish sizzling in the oil. 

Hardison came up from the restaurant and collapsed in one of the chairs. "Remind me again why I decided going into a legitimate business was a good idea."

"I figured it was because you were trying to lure me into living with you," Eliot said.

"That was part of it," Hardison told him. "But it's good to have a source of income that stands up to scrutiny." He took a deep breath. "Smells amazing in here."

"Almost done," Eliot said. 

They ate together, talking about nothing. Old jobs. Odd jobs. Prospective jobs. Things they'd always wanted to steal. When they were done with the fish and sides, Eliot went and whipped cream and slathered it over the pie.

"What if I don't like whipped cream?" Hardison asked.

"Then you don't have to eat my mama's pie," Eliot told him, pie server poised to cut.

"Oh, I'm going to eat it," Hardison assured him. "Anything you and Parker made, I've got to have some." He grinned. "I would never let your cream whipping skills go to waste."

"Always gotta make a problem even where there isn't one," Eliot grumbled in a mild voice, dishing out three generous slices. "See if I ever feed you dessert again."

"Mm," Hardison said, licking whipped cream off his lips. "Oh, Eliot. The only thing that could make this pie better is if you were feeding it to me."

"It's just a regular everyday pie," Eliot said, the tips of his ears turning pink. "Nothing special."

"It's delicious," Parker told him. "Thanks for making dinner."

Eliot smiled at her, slouching back in his chair with his hands laced over his stomach. "Any time you want a turn, just say the word."

"I think that'll be a while," Hardison said. He checked his watch. "Just in time. I've got a raid." He got up and put his dishes in the dishwasher and then tidied away what was left of the meal, licking the remnants of the whipped cream off the mixer beaters before he put them in the basket.

"Enjoy your elves," Eliot called after him.

"You know they're orcs!" Hardison said over his shoulder.

Eliot chuckled softly. "What about you? Big plans tonight?"

Parker scraped whipped cream off her plate. "Thought I'd do some flexibility training and work on a couple of old locks, just to keep my hand in."

Eliot nodded. "Sounds like a fun night."

"You?" she asked. 

"Thought I'd go down to the bar," he said, getting up from his chair. "Not our bar. Find myself a date. Don't worry, I won't bring her back here."

"Oh," Parker said. "Good luck."

"I thought you didn't believe in luck," he said, grinning at her.

"Not for me," she said. "But maybe you need some."

He smirked. "'Preciate the vote of confidence there, Parker."

She grinned back at him. "I'm a good friend."

"Whatever you say," he drawled. He checked for his wallet and phone and pulled his jacket off the rack by the door. "Don't wait up." He winked and left.

Parker cleaned up the rest of the dishes. She dried her hands thoughtfully on a towel. 

The locks were soothing to whatever kept running around in her brain just outside her conscious mind. Locks were always the same: if she listened carefully and touched them right, they opened.

After the locks, she warmed up gently so that she could work through the flexibility program. She clicked through the screens on the projector until she could look up videos on the internet. It wasn't hard to find porn. Lots of porn. There was just so much porn on the internet, with more configurations and acts than she'd ever imagined. She stretched one leg over her head and watched. 

She was still watching when Hardison came in. 

"Whoa, baby, whoa," he said, stopping abruptly. "Uh, this is a development."

"It looks kind of painful," she said, tilting her head to consider the action from another angle. 

"That is not realistic," Hardison assured her. "Whatever we end up doing will not be painful. Or involve any kind of fake ass pizza delivery person routine." He paused. "Unless that's what you're into."

"I don't think so," she said. She pulled one arm across her body. "Do you want to get in the hot tub with me?"

"I always want to get in the hot tub with you," he said. "I'll go turn it on."

Parker finished her stretches and went to change into her bikini. She grabbed a couple of towels and headed up to the roof. Hardison had insisted it was the best place for a hot tub, and Parker agreed it was nicer than the one they'd had in Boston, especially since this one was salt water instead of pool water. It didn't smell as strongly and reminded her of the ocean. Hardison was already in the hot tub, his flowery trunks barely visible through the seething bubbles. He smiled when he saw her. 

"Pretty sure I saw this in a couple of those videos," she teased him, climbing in next to him and stacking the towels on the edge. The air was cool, but the water was warm. It felt good on her tired muscles.

"If you wanna have sex in the hot tub, we can make that happen," Hardison told her. "Just let me know." 

"Not tonight," she said. 

"I'm just kidding, Parker," he said. "We don't have to have sex in the hot tub."

"Maybe some day," she said. "Once I know what I'm doing. It seemed pretty complicated in those videos. But also very straightforward in certain ways." She frowned and sank deeper into the water, letting the jets rumble against her spine. 

"I don't care if we have sex anywhere," Hardison told her. "Don't worry about that. We don't ever have to have the kind of sex you're thinking about if you don't want to." 

"You'd be happy?" Parker asked.

"I'm happy with you," he told her. "It might be challenging every once in a while, because it's an experience I'd like to share with you, but I don't get to tell you how I get to express my feelings about you. You tell me."

"If we were going to have sex in the hot tub, what would happen?" Parker asked Hardison, leaning against him.

"Oh, so we're doing this?" Hardison asked. "And by this, I mean talking about sex a lot."

"Yeah, why not?" Parker said, shrugging. "I have to learn somehow. It's this or porn." 

"No more porn," Hardison said. "Not that kind of porn. Unless you liked it."

"I don't think I did," she said. "It was just...meaty." She cuddled against him. "So you tell me."

"Well, first," Hardison said, "we wouldn't be wearing any damn bathing suits. Or at least we'd get to take them off."

"Okay," Parker said.

"Okay, what," Hardison said. 

"Okay, let's take them off," Parker said. 

"I, uh, don't really want to say no to that," Hardison said. 

Parker unhooked her top and let the water caress her bare breasts. "Sorry, did you want to do that?"

"It's fine," Hardison said, his eyes on her chest. "Yep. All fine." 

"Oh, the bottoms," Parker said, and shimmied out of them. They floated up to the top of the water, pushed by the jets. Hardison stared at them like his brain was breaking. "Your turn. Otherwise it's not fair." 

The water swirled as he lifted his hips and pushed his trunks off. "Eliot's not gonna come up here without any warning, is he?"

Parker shook her head. "He went out to find a date. He said he'd go back to her place."

"Okay, good," Hardison said. 

"I think that was in one of the porn movies, though," Parker offered. "Somebody else walking in."

Hardison shook his head. "We are not talking about Eliot right now."

He was the one who had brought up Eliot, but Parker let it go. "So now we're naked," she said. "What would we do next?"

"There are a lot of possibilities," Hardison said. "Are we touching?"

"Hmm," Parker said. "Maybe not yet. Not everywhere, anyway." 

"Then the hot tub is the perfect place to be," Hardison said. "Because I would gently guide your, uh, sensitive areas toward the jets and let them do the touching."

"You mean my clitoris," Parker said.

Hardison winced just a little. "It sounds so clinical when you say it."

"You're the one who showed me the sex ed videos," she told him. "Show me what to do."

"Can I put my hands on your hips?" he asked. "Is that an okay level of touching?"

She nodded. He half-floated in front of her and his hands found her waist under the water and slid down to her hips. She let him turn her around so that she was facing the jets. 

"Oh," she said as the water touched her.

"Yeah," Hardison said. "I thought you'd like that."

"It's just..." She squirmed, her knees splaying wide on the molded plastic bench. It was complicated to get the water at just the right angle. She reached down and adjusted the little plastic nozzle until water was suddenly streaming at her in exactly the right way. "Oh, that's nice."

"Hmm," Hardison said. "Tell me how nice."

"Really nice," she said. "Even nicer than chocolate pudding." The steady smooth pressure of the water flowing over her clitoris felt like electricity was crackling through her. It was just firm enough to send sparks up her spine, gentle enough that her body wasn't jolting away. Parker moaned quietly and Hardison made a stifled noise behind her. She dropped her face against her shoulder and looked back at him. 

"You are so beautiful," he told her, his voice low and earnest. 

"You too," she said. The lights he'd strung up in the enclosure around the tub brought out the warm tones in his dark skin, and glossy drops of water rolled off his shoulders. He really was beautiful. She wanted to make beautiful things with him. She wanted to make him as happy as she was. 

"Touch me," she said, and his eyes widened. "Touch my back. Please."

"I can do that," he said. His hands slipped from her hips up and down the long muscles of her back, down her arms to her elbows, and back up and over. His hands were soft and hot from the water. Parker pressed into his touch, her back curved up against his palms and her hips canted down against the insistent jet. Her whole body felt like arcing current. The voltage of it built and built as the jet just kept gushing against her and Hardison's hands kept moving up and down her back. 

"You're so brave, baby," Hardison murmured. "You're so brave to try this with me. I'm so grateful I'm the person who gets to be here for you."

"Keep talking," Parker panted. "I like to hear your voice."

"I'm a lucky man," Hardison said. "To get to see you like this. Gorgeous. Free. It's like watching you fly. It's incredible."

"Yeah?" she said.

"Yeah," he told her. 

"I mean, yeah, like, _yeah_ ," she said.

"Oh!" His hands paused and then swept over her again. "Good. I want you to feel good. You deserve it, baby. I like to help you feel good."

"Uh huh," she said.

"Keep going," he said, "you can do it. You can get there, baby. I believe in you." His hands slid down her ribs and she moaned. He made a little grunting noise. "Can I kiss your shoulders?"

"Mmm, mmhmm," she said. Pleasure zapped through her in lazy half-arcs, like the lightning trapped in one of those glass balls. Any minute now the arcs would connect and her whole body would jolt and judder, alight with sensation. Hardison's lips traced across her shoulders, his cheeks and chin a little bristly with stubble. The friction, so different from the smooth unyielding flow of the water, added an extra layer to her enjoyment. He pushed the wet end of her ponytail over her shoulder and the water dripped down her breasts. She could feel everything happening in her body: her nipples tightening in the cool air, the gentle ache in her thighs from holding herself in the same position, the long muscles in her body tensing harder and harder. 

"Come for me, baby," Hardison murmured into her shoulder. "I want to feel you."

"What," she gasped, "what would we be doing if we were having sex?"

"Oh, I'd want you to come all around me," Hardison said, still dappling kisses over her skin. "I'd pull you onto my lap and let you ease right down on me. You'd set the pace. You'd be completely in control. I'd touch you wherever you wanted, and I'd get to watch you feel incredible and be a part of it."

"Touch my breasts," she panted.

"Are you sure?" He hesitated, his chin against her shoulder.

"Please," she said, and his big hands were cupping her breasts, squeezing softly, his thumbs moving over her nipples, and it was the spark she needed. She could feel the shiver building in her body, a vibration that got more and more intense until she was shaking in his arms, crying out into the night. 

"That's my girl," he said softly. "Oh, Parker, sweetheart. You did so good. You're so beautiful, baby."

She slumped to the side and let him hold her as she caught her breath. After a moment, she sat up and he took the hint and floated gently away. 

"You had a good idea," she said. "You always have good ideas."

"I have a lot of practice thinking about things," he teased. 

"What about you?" she asked. 

"I'll figure things out," he said. "I don't want to have to change out all the water in the hot tub. It's kind of a near thing at this point. Watching you was...something else."

"Something nice?" she asked.

"Incredible," he promised, and leaned forward to kiss her. "I am going to have to get out, though, before things start to happen."

She sat back and watched him push himself up out of the water to sit on the edge of the tub. His penis was firm, standing tall. 

"Can I touch you?" she asked, and he looked at her and then at his erection. 

"Uh, yes," he said. 

She floated closer and trailed her fingers over his penis. It was hard and hot and silky under her fingertips. She traced the lines on it. Hardison swallowed hard. His penis twitched and wobbled.

"What are you going to do?" she asked. 

He made a pumping gesture with a loose fist. "What I've been doing a long time."

"Do you want to come on my tits?" she asked. "I think that's what they said in the porn videos. Is that better than the sex ed videos?"

He made a strangled noise. "Under the right circumstances, if it was what you really wanted, yes, absolutely. At this moment, no, not least because that would not solve my hot tub cleaning problem."

His trunks floated past and she fished them out and tossed them to him. "It doesn't have to be here." 

"Parker, I'm not going to...come on your tits," he said. "Not right now." He dragged on his trunks, which tented awkwardly. "I'm just going to go downstairs to the bathroom, take care of this, and come back with a clean conscience and something cold to drink, and we're going to enjoy this evening, and then we're going to go downstairs and tear up some more of that chocolate pie."

"I like that plan," she said. 

"I like you," he told her, and bent to kiss her, pulling away with a groan. 

"Are you going to be thinking about me?" she asked.

"There is literally nothing else in my brain," he told her. "No computers. No crimes. Just you." He walked stiffly away and Parker slid back down in the water, smiling. She hooked the pieces of her bathing suit with her toes and slowly put them back on. Her skin still felt sensitive under the soaked fabric. If she focused, she could remember the gentle prickle of Hardison's stubble. 

She wondered what Eliot was doing. Maybe he'd found a date already, and they were taking each other's clothes off, or maybe he was still at the bar, sizing up the ladies like marks. Well, maybe not like marks, but she assumed there were still things he looked for. A lot of the women she'd seen Eliot be interested in looked kind of the same when she thought about it. Maybe he had a type. 

Parker was very, very glad she was whatever Hardison's type was. She turned the jets up all the way and let them pummel her lower back. She'd always kind of taken the things her body could do for granted, though they'd amazed other people. It was nice to discover that Hardison could show her ways her body could surprise her. She let herself float a little in the water, drifting.

After a few minutes, Hardison came back, looking much more relaxed. He had a couple of dewy bottles of water and handed her one. Parker twisted the top off and took a mouthful of cold water. 

"Better?" she said. 

"Definitely less urgent," he told her, climbing back into the hot tub. "How are you feeling?"

She considered it, sipping at her water. "Sleepy. But happy."

He laughed softly. "That's how it should be." 

She moved over next to him and he put his arm around her. She nestled against his side.

"I don't know a lot about all of this," Parker said, "but I think you're being very, very patient with me. I hope it's...worth it. For you."

"Baby, baby, baby," he said, jostling her against him, "I love you. Okay? So I'll be as patient as it takes to make you feel comfortable. It's not a challenge. It's not a burden. It's a fun puzzle we're putting together...together." 

"It's a long con," she said, smiling. 

"It's the best job I've ever done," he promised her. "And it's already paid off a thousand times what I expected. A million times."

"I love you," she told him. She paused for a moment, looking up at the sky. "Should we go eat pie?"

"We should definitely go eat pie," Hardison told her, and they did. Eliot came in as they were squabbling over the whipped cream. He slung his jacket over a chair and pulled the pie tin toward him, stealing Parker's fork. 

"I thought you weren't coming back," Parker said.

"Some nights just aren't lucky ones," Eliot said.

"That is not what you've told me before," Hardison said to him. "Mister Smooth. Mister Game-All-Night." 

"They were all married," Eliot said. "I ain't messing with any marriages. I'm too damn old not to know better than to get in the middle of something that doesn't have space for me."

"So if there was a space, it would be fine?" Parker asked, stealing her fork back and jabbing it into the remains of the pie. She took a bite and handed the fork back to Eliot.

"Not really a situation I find myself in," Eliot said. 

"I thought you could always get a date," Hardison teased. "How the mighty have fallen."

"I could have gotten a date," Eliot said. "Trust and believe, man. I _chose_ not to have a date with any of the numerous married women who found me irresistible tonight." He forked up another bite of pie. "Or the entire party of bachelorettes."

"I mean, usually they're not all getting married," Hardison said.

"I would rather walk into Sterling's office and turn myself in than deal with a bunch of girls gone wild, wedding edition," Eliot said. "Not doing that again."

"Why are girls going wild?" Parker asked. "Were you singing again?"

Eliot and Hardison looked at each other.

"Anyway," Eliot said. "Hope you two had a better night than I did."

"We were in the hot tub," Parker said cheerfully. "It's really nice outside."

Eliot glanced between them. "Please don't tell me you had sex in the hot tub."

Parker waggled her eyebrows at him. 

"I swear to you it's fine," Hardison said. "I would not do that to you. I would clean it. I did not need to clean it."

Eliot narrowed his eyes and then nodded. "I trust you. Because you know what would happen if you made me soak in that." 

"You wouldn't hit Hardison," Parker said.

"Of course not," Eliot said with scorn. He paused. "I would never cook for you again."

Hardison gasped and clutched his heart. "I already told you I'd never do that to you."

Eliot stared hard at him and then nodded. "All right." 

Parker yawned, took the fork, and scraped the last of the pie out of the tin. "I'm going to bed." 

"Night," Eliot said. "Hey, Hardison, since this night is already ruined, you want to play video games?"

Hardison smiled a slow, broad, gleaming smile. "Why, Eliot, I thought you'd never ask."

Parker climbed the stairs as the pew-pewing started, rinsed off in the shower, and slipped into bed listening to Eliot and Hardison trash talk each other rooms away. It was better than a lullaby.


	4. Semi-Erotic Massage

"I had an idea," Parker said.

"Shoot," Hardison said, typing on his keyboard. 

Parker leaned forward. "Massages."

Hardison's fingers paused. "I'm listening." 

"I bought some massage oil at one of the bath stores," Parker said. "I thought maybe if I could touch you, then maybe it would get us closer to having sex the way other people think about sex."

"I don't need any kind of justification," Hardison said. "If you want to touch me, I'm into it."

"When?" Parker asked. "Now?"

"Uh, yeah, let me just save this," Hardison said. "Ten million dollars can wait."

"No, it can't," Parker said. "Ten million dollars first." She shimmied her shoulders. "Mmm."

"The way you love money is kind of disturbing," Hardison said, clicking away on his keyboard. "But it's also kind of arousing, I'm not gonna lie."

Parker put her chin in her hand. "Is that what desire feels like? The kind you just get out of nowhere?"

"I can't speak for your experience," Hardison told her, closing his laptop. "But that look on your face when you see a pile of cash? Looks like it feels a lot like it does when I look at you." 

"That's so sweet," Parker said. 

"I mean, I did kind of think you were about to explode when we found that shipping container full of money way back in LA," Hardison said. "You sure that wasn't a Parker version of an orgasm?"

"I can have regular orgasms now," Parker said, putting her nose in the air. She smiled to herself. "It was really good, though. So much money."

Hardison held out his hand to her. "You can imagine I'm a giant pile of cash while you rub me down."

"You don't have the right texture," she complained, and let him lead her upstairs. She helped him undress, tugging his t-shirt over his head, popping the button on his jeans. He watched her with a smug, satisfied look on his face that did remind her of the portraits she saw on money. She let her hands glide over him, light as if there were pressure sensors under his skin, for the pleasure of watching him shiver. Her Hardison, as exquisitely constructed as a vintage safe. He gazed down at her with gentle eyes, but she could see his pupils were wide and hazy. 

"You're very beautiful," she told him.

He laughed softly. "I thought that was my line."

"Nobody has any lines," Parker said. "It's just the truth." She nudged him toward the bed. "Lie down." 

"On this conveniently folded sheet you've laid over the covers, huh?" he said. "You were prepared."

"Maybe you're predictable," Parker said. "I say I want to touch you, you're usually into that." 

"You've got me there," Hardison said. He stretched out on the bed. 

"Face down," Parker said. Hardison flipped over obediently. Parker got the bottle of massage oil off the dresser and poured some into her hand. 

"It smells like lavender," she told him.

"I can't wait to get turned on every time I smell lavender," Hardison teased, his voice muffled in the pillow. 

"I'm starting with your back," she told him. "If that's okay."

"Anywhere," Hardison told her. "You can touch me anywhere."

Parker slathered her hands together and sleeked her oily palms up his back. Hardison murmured, sounding pleased. Parker pressed and rubbed, feeling her way through his tension.

"You're a natural," Hardison said into the pillow. Parker moved on to his arms, kneading the firm muscles as Hardison grumbled happily. She rubbed his fingers, pushing her thumb into the hollow of his palm, and moved back up his arms to press her knuckles into his neck. He groaned. 

"Baby, that feels amazing." 

She smiled to herself. "Can I touch your legs?"

"Please do," he told her, and she poured more oil into her hands and worked her way back down his body. His legs were strong under her fingers and she liked the way he tensed when she got to the ticklish backs of his knees. 

"Don't let anybody say you don't go all out," he said. "From not touching anyone to this. It's like Olympic-level growth." He groaned again as she rubbed his feet. "Just take the gold. Just take it. Take all the medals." 

"Turn over," she told him, and worked her way back up his body: calves, quads, hips, abs, chest. She ignored his penis, which was showing some interest.

"Baby, I am _relaxed_ ," Hardison said. "You could pour me into a container."

"You liked it?" she asked.

"I loved it," he said. "Come here." She bent over him and he drew her down for a gentle kiss. "Did you like it?"

"Yeah," she said, smiling softly at him. "I feel really connected to you." 

"Good," he said. "If you're happy, that's all I want. But I definitely enjoyed all of this. Any time you want to rub me down, that's fine with me."

"Even if we don't have sex?" she asked.

He caught her hands and kissed them. "I promise you, the minute you say you want to have sex, I'll be over the moon. But until then, I am fine. I'm happy. I know what a big step this is for you." 

"How do I make it sexy?" she asked. "Touching you. If I wanted to."

"Baby, I don't know," he said. "It's already sexy to me when you touch me."

"But if it wasn't," she insisted. "How would you know that I wanted to have sex with you?"

"I guess you could go slow," he said. "Just kind of lightly trail your fingers over me. More pressure makes it feel more urgent. You'll know."

She looked away. "What if I don't?"

"Hey, hey, hey," he said, rubbing her arm. "You will. Even if you feel like you don't know it now, I've seen you learn so much, Parker. I know how good you are at reading a situation. Maybe you feel like you don't have those instincts, but you do. You will. It'll be just like learning to pick a lock or grift a mark."

"And no stabbing," she said.

"Please, no stabbing," he said, making prayer hands. "That is not the kind of sex I'm into."

"But it is a kind of sex," she said dubiously.

"Baby, it is a wide, wild world out there," he told her. "One step at a time." He rubbed her arm again. "Your turn?"

"Yeah," she said. "My turn."

He helped her out of her clothes and she lay down on the bed. 

"Should I start with your back?" he asked.

"Mm," she said, her face pushed into the pillow and her fingers knotted in the covers. She could hear Hardison stop moving.

"You gotta use your words, Parker," he said gently. "I'm not gonna do anything you're not comfortable with, so I need you to tell me."

"It feels different," she said. "It feels more intimate. That you're touching me even though we're not having sex. That you're just touching me because you like it and you want me to like it." She shifted, glad she didn't have to look at him. "It was easier when there was a goal. It was like, okay, there's a point to this. There's an end. I wanted to have an orgasm. But this is just...for fun. Just because it's nice."

"It's supposed to be nice," Hardison said. "If it's not nice, we don't have to do it."

"I want it to be nice," Parker said. 

"We'll try it," Hardison said. "If you don't like it, we'll stop. Easy." She heard him rubbing his hands together. "There's no 'supposed to' for us. 'Supposed to' stops at the door, all right?" 

She sighed. "Okay." 

"I'm going to touch you now," he said softly.

"Okay," she said. 

His big hands touched her tentatively, sliding over her back. "I get that it's easier when it feels like a job," he said in a quiet voice. "If that makes it better for you, we can talk about it like it's a job. Sometimes it's difficult to just let yourself enjoy something. But you deserve to be able to just like things if that's what you want. I mean, chocolate doesn't have a goal. You just like it. Maybe this can be like that someday."

"I always had to have a reason," she said into the pillow. "Ever since I was little. I learned to drive so I could help my team get away. I exercised to make my body better at stealing things. I learned to speak languages so I could get myself out of trouble. Everything I've ever done has been _for_ something."

"Maybe this is for you," he said. 

"I don't know if I can do that," she told him. "Chocolate's easy. Nobody else has to be involved."

"Maybe, for now, you can think you're doing it for me," Hardison said. "I don't know if that's healthy in the long run, but if it helps you feel better right now. Be happy because I want you to be happy. Enjoy yourself because it pleases me. And then one day, maybe it'll be for you."

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't know sex was this complicated."

"I was going to say sometimes it's not," Hardison said, "but you know what, it is." He kneaded her shoulders. "And don't be sorry. I couldn't be happier right now." He pushed his thumbs into her muscles and she sighed. "There's a beautiful naked woman in my bed letting me rub all her cares away. What's better than that?"

She turned her head to look up at him. "Money."

He shook his head. "Nope. Not even close."

"Jewels," she suggested. "Art."

"I've got all the art I need right in front of me," he said, pretending to frame her with his hands. "Parker, I love you. And I love being able to do this with you. Any of this." He tilted her head gently back into alignment. "So let me show you my love."

She did feel loved, when she let herself relax under his touch. She could tell he was taking special care with her. He asked what she liked and listened. He adapted what he was doing to the way her muscles tensed under his fingers. He didn't fuss over her scars. He didn't try to touch her anywhere that the sex ed videos had taught her was an erogenous zone, even when she turned over. She had to pull his hands to the tops of her breasts to knead the tight muscles there. By inches, the tension in her released. She sighed with pleasure. 

"You look like you're happy," Hardison said.

"Of course I'm happy," she told him. "I'm with you."

"Thank you for this," he said. "It's a nice reminder that we can get naked together without any kind of need to bring sex into it if that's how we're feeling. We can just discover each other." 

"It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be," Parker mused. "It's easier to touch you than it used to be. Or anyone. But mostly you."

"Mostly me is good, I think," Hardison said. He sniffed at his hands. "Yeah, definitely turned on by lavender now."

"Touch my stomach," she said. "Show me sexy."

"Baby, I have to warn you I am not known for my game," Hardison told her, and then muttered, "Definitely not asking Eliot for any pointers, though."

"Just try," she insisted.

Hardison sighed and nodded. "Move over," he said, and she turned on her side on the edge of the sheet. He laid down next to her. 

"Start with not sexy," she said, and he brushed his hand over her arm. 

"Now sexier," she said, and he trailed his fingers over her, tracing the swell of her muscles with one fingertip. He went back and forth at her request, and it was like when Eliot had taught her to taste food: all at once, she could sense a new dimension to Hardison's touch, a depth and a flavor that revealed his intent. Just like tomato sauce could be buttery and warm and nostalgic or sharp and bright, the way Hardison touched her showed her how he felt. 

"I get it," she said in wonder. "If I touch you like this" — she patted his arm heartily — "it's not sexy. But if I touch you like this, it is." She slid her hand slowly down his arm, letting her skin catch against his. 

Hardison smiled at her. "Any time you touch me, it's sexy. But that's because I always want you to touch me." 

"That's not helpful," Parker told him.

"Can't help it," he told her. "You do it for me." He grinned. 

"So you just want to have sex all the time?" she asked.

"I mean, no," he said. "Not exactly. But I'm pretty much always open to the idea. Sort of like when you offered me massages just now. I wasn't looking for it, but I wasn't going to turn it down."

"Huh," she said. 

"You never want to have sex?" he asked.

She shrugged sideways. "I don't know. I liked it when you touched me like that, but I don't think my brain asks for that in general. On my regular list of things I could be doing right now, sex doesn't seem to be an option. I mean, I could be climbing instead. Or finding you the perfect Christmas present even though it's months away. Or working out. Or figuring out how to get through a new security system." 

"You need some romance first," Hardison said. "I'm happy to inform you that I would be delighted to provide romance any time you want."

"I'll let you know," Parker said, and kissed him. "Mm. What's that saying? About a flashlight in your pocket?"

"I'm just happy to see you," Hardison told her. "Uh. I think it might be time for me to retire to the bathroom. You're probably not quite ready for that level of touching. Unless, I guess, you want to watch...?"

Parker rolled off the bed and dragged her clothes back on. "Maybe next time. You can stay here. I'm going to go check my gear and make sure it's not worn." She bent down to kiss him again. "You can play with my vibrator if you want."

"It's not exactly made for my manly bits," Hardison said. "I don't know if I have the patience to get creative right now."

"We should get you some toys," Parker said, opening the door and making sure no one was in the hall. "That seems more fair." As she slipped out and closed the door, she heard Hardison say, "Is this my life?" to the ceiling, but he didn't seem upset. Parker rolled her head and trotted down the stairs. The muscles of her neck felt loose and warm. She felt better after the massages, not just in her body, but in her heart. She understood the different signals she could send. She had techniques. And most important of all, Hardison would respect the boundaries she put up. She'd trusted him with her life already, but trusting him with her body was different. 

Hardison didn't see her body as a tool or a commodity. He saw it as something else. A work of art, maybe: something wonderful and precious. And that was nice, and a little terrifying. Parker smiled to herself as she inspected the straps and buckles that held her in the air.

Yeah, she could be a work of art. Maybe one day they'd have sex in a museum. That sounded romantic to her. Hardison would probably like it better than jumping off any more buildings. She just had to work up to it before their next vacation. It was a plan. Parker liked plans.


	5. Handiwork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parker and Hardison get down together, separately.

Parker had been doing her research. This did sometimes involve watching porn — the articles on how to masturbate didn't always describe things very well. She'd read about porn too, and found some a little less slappy and sticky-looking than her initial viewings. Masturbation, the internet assured her, was a great step on the way to having sex, if that was indeed what one wanted to do, and at this point, Parker was committed. For Hardison, yes, but also for herself. Sex was another system to crack. It might be a way they could fly together without anybody screaming about being pushed off a building.

Masturbation wasn't really about libido for Parker, but it was something she'd made time for anyway. It was another kind of training. She'd learned to touch herself, with and without toys. She'd learned a few less clinical terms for various parts of her anatomy from the videos. She'd learned what turned her on and what didn't, how to convince her body that pleasure was something it wanted. There were ways to jumpstart desire and things that would pull her entirely out of the moment. Maybe she still didn't yearn for sex the way other people did, but she was pretty sure it wouldn't be that difficult to desire Hardison, who showed her in a thousand ways how much he loved and wanted her. 

It was interesting to know so many new things about her body. She'd spent so many years honing herself into an athlete with perfect control over her body and now she knew that sometimes her leg would just jump if she touched the right spot. There were mysteries inside her. It was exciting and frightening at the same time.

Tonight had begun in the hot tub again with a lot of kissing. Hardison had had a long day of staring into his screens and muttering in frustration and Parker had wanted to cheer him up. She'd climbed into his lap and looped her arms around his neck and kissed him, and the way he'd kissed her back had told her there was nothing on his mind but her. They kissed for a long time, leisurely embraces that definitely stirred something inside Hardison. Even Parker felt warm and interested. She nipped experimentally at Hardison's mouth and he groaned and pushed up against her. She let her tongue slide against his, rough and intriguing. Their kisses got faster, deeper, the urgency of Hardison's touch rising. 

"Oh, God, Parker, baby, we gotta stop," Hardison said, although the fact that he kept kissing her didn't really make his words very credible.

"Why?" Parker asked. "Too much?"

"Much too much," he told her, his hands pushed up into her hair underneath her ponytail. "In the best way. I, uh, have to take care of this situation before it turns messy." 

"Why don't we both go?" Parker asked. "Maybe if I watch you, it'll help me get used to the idea. I read about mutual masturbation."

Hardison groaned. "Fuck, Parker. Yes. Let's go." They climbed out of the hot tub and wrapped themselves in towels. Hardison's didn't hide the bulge in his trunks. They clattered down the stairs back to their floor and locked the door to their room. It was Hardison's room, technically, but Parker didn't spend a lot of time in her own. They'd made it a shared space. 

"Where?" Parker asked, more breathless than she should have been. Her heart was beating fast. She could feel a flush in her cheeks and a heaviness between her legs. 

"Bed's still a messy option," Hardison said, eyeing it. "Plus we're soaked. Shower?"

"Yeah," Parker said. She licked her lips. Hardison was already stripping out of his trunks. She followed him, dropping the pieces of her swimsuit on the floor. They crowded together into the big shower. Hardison turned on the water and let it sluice over them as he pulled her close and kissed her again. She could feel his cock bumping against her stomach, firm and insistent. It was a strange sensation, but more interesting than anything else. She wasn't put off or confused by it like she might have been before. She kissed him again and let her body slide against his, both of them slippery from the water. After a moment, he groaned and put his hands on her shoulders, holding her away from him. She nodded and sat on the wooden bench in the back of the shower, one foot on the bench and one on the tile. She slid her hands over her body, enjoying the firmness of her own muscles. When she leaned back, the tiled wall was cold against her shoulders.

"Damn, Parker, I don't know how long I'm going to last with a show like that," Hardison said, staring at her like he was going to gobble her up. He was gorgeous under the spray. His cock looked nice — not terrifyingly huge like the ones she'd seen in some of the porn she'd watched, but healthy and aesthetically pleasing. He was handsome naked. She liked the way he looked her over, as if he was memorizing her, making every detail of her part of him.

"What, this?" Parker said, and cupped her breasts in her hands. She squeezed them gently and rubbed her thumbs over her nipples. 

"Yeah, that," Hardison said. He rubbed his palm over his own chest and belly, slow strokes. "Is that how you like to start?"

"Sometimes," Parker said. "Other times I get impatient. But there's no reason we can't take our time right now." She trailed her fingers up and down her body, touching herself with intent. The slow fires rekindled inside her. The heat of Hardison's mouth had started them; now the heat in Hardison's eyes kept them building. She caressed her hips, her belly, her thighs, and his eyes followed her hands. He was still touching his chest, but his fingers kept nearly straying lower. His cock quivered in anticipation.

"Too slow?" she asked playfully.

"I wouldn't mind a little more speed," he said in a hoarse voice. "Having you on my lap primed the pump, so to speak." 

"Hmm," she said, sliding her fingers between the folds of her labia and finding herself slick and hot. "Me too." 

Hardison moaned, watching her touch herself. Parker pushed her fingers up and down, up and down, until everything was slippery and her clit sparked as she grazed it. Her other hand was still moving over her breasts, pinching and tugging gently at her nipples. At last, she let her thumb circle her clit in slow lazy rounds that made her sigh. Hardison shivered every time he heard her, even though the water that was still falling on his shoulders filled the shower with steam. 

"Go ahead," Parker said. "I want to watch you."

"You really go all out, don't you, baby," Hardison told her. 

"One day I'll go all in," she said with a wink, and he grunted a laugh. He looked around at the various products in the shower and settled on a rinse-off lotion Parker had bought on a whim. He scooped some out of the jar and slicked his palms. Parker slipped one finger inside herself, relishing the pressure. She felt warm and loose and free. Masturbating in front of Hardison was easy. He was clearly enjoying himself, and it was more entertaining than being alone. She licked her lips and watched Hardison wrap his fingers around his cock with a kind of certain arrogance that made her smirk. He moved his fist slowly up and down his shaft. 

"I have to start slow," he told her. "Otherwise one look at you and this will all be over." 

She grinned at him and pushed two fingers into herself. Her thumb was still working her clit. She let her back arch. The tile walls of the shower made her sound much louder than normal. She liked it, and let herself moan even louder. 

"Fuck, Parker," Hardison said, his voice even hoarser than before. He couldn't take his eyes off her. She watched him right back. She could see the way he squeezed as he rubbed his cock, the tension in his fingers changing. Sometimes he rubbed his thumb over the head of it. His other hand pressed at the base, his fingertips teasing his balls. It was exhilarating to watch him like this, open and honest as he pleasured himself. Parker circled her clit faster until she was gasping. 

"I haven't tried three fingers yet," she told him. "You look even bigger than that." 

He groaned. He was kind of thrusting into his hand now more than stroking. "Show me." 

Parker let her fingers slide all the way out, pink and slick from the wet heat inside her, and then pushed in three fingers. She arched her back, tilting her hips to get the right angle. "Oh. That feels good." 

"God, I want to make love to you," Hardison said, and it sounded kind of like a prayer. His eyes flicked between her hands and her eyes. "Come for me, Parker. I want to see you."

"I will," she said. "Oh yes, I will." Her hips rose and fell and her fingers thrust. She was touching herself with two hands now, her breasts abandoned, three fingers inside herself and the fingertips of her other hand frantic on her clit. "Oh, Hardison, are you going to feel better than this?"

"I'm going to goddamn try," he promised her, his eyes wide. Parker was fucking herself on her fingers, desperate as the people she'd seen in her videos, her whole body taut with pleasure and the anticipation of release. One day — one day soon — she was going to come around him instead of around her fingers or a toy. She was almost ready. And oh, she was almost there, teetering on the precipice of pleasure. She could hear how needy her moans sounded, and then they were changing to sharp little cries, and her fingers were cramping but she couldn't stop, and she reached inside herself and touched some place that made the world come apart at the seams. Her whole body shook. The bench rattled under her. She arched against the wall and shouted, shivering, her hands still working her clit as she wrung every second of pleasure out of her orgasm. 

Hardison was moaning too. When Parker opened her eyes, he was watching her as he thrust hard into his fist. His other hand was caressing his balls, tugging lightly at them. 

"Are you going to come for me?" she asked. "Do you want to come on my stomach? I saw that."

"Fuck," he said. "No. Yes."

"Which one?" she asked. 

He hissed through his teeth. "Yes." 

She laid down on the bench. Little aftershocks of pleasure still jolted through her. Hardison stepped closer. His cock was glossy where it slid through his fingers. She liked to watch the expert way he handled himself. 

"Tell me when," she said.

"Soon," he told her. "God, Parker, just seeing you like this is enough to make me come. You're so fucking beautiful. I love you so fucking much." He was panting, as desperate as she'd been a few minutes ago. "Ah, fuck, I'm coming!"

There was a gentle spatter across her stomach. It felt warm and looked creamy when she peered down her body. Hardison gasped and sagged against the shower wall. 

"That was unbelievable," he said. "Are you okay?"

"I'm great," she assured him.

"I'm sorry about the" — he gestured — "on your stomach. I hadn't ever done that before. It sounded hot in the moment."

"I offered," she reminded him. "It's really fine. I am going to rinse it off now, though." She stood up on legs that wobbled under her. "Whoa." 

He offered her his arm and she steadied herself. "That doesn't usually happen."

"You probably don't usually stand up right away either," he said. 

"Help me wash it off," she said, taking his hand and smoothing it down her stomach. He stopped far short of her vagina, but she still felt a tingle of awareness. It would be easy to push his hand a little lower. She could feel his fingers inside her. They were bigger than hers. But she'd stretched to accommodate everything so far, including a penis-shaped sex toy or two. After her orgasm, she felt full and empty inside all at once, like she was still hungry. Hardison's touch might soothe that problem. 

One step at a time. She'd experimented enough for one day; she didn't want to wake up and feel like she'd missed a step, or gone too far. She didn't guide his hand lower, and he didn't reach either. Together they washed him off her skin. Hardison turned off the shower and got out, turning to hand her a towel.

"Have I told you lately that you're a miracle?" he asked as he dried himself off. 

"No," she said, "but I like hearing it." 

They cuddled up in bed together, both of them still wrapped in their towels. "We need to get up," Hardison said. "Otherwise we'll fall asleep like this and wake up and feel gross."

"Mmhmm," Parker agreed, not moving. Hardison grumbled and rolled her around until he had unwrapped her towel. He tossed both towels to the foot of the bed and wrapped the comforter around her instead. 

"Sweet dreams," he said, curling up around her.


	6. Frottage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parker and Hardison don't have sex, with their clothes on.

The job was over. They'd had dinner. They'd had a few flutes of champagne. Eliot had caught the eye of several pretty women. The last Parker had seen, he'd been talking to three of them in a corner of the room. She hoped he was going to have a good night. 

Parker was having a good night. She felt adventurous. As soon as they got back to their hotel room, she pressed Hardison against the wall, just to feel his strength against hers, and kissed him. She tugged at his tie until it came loose and unbuttoned his shirt halfway. 

"You're feisty tonight," he murmured, and instead of answering, she pushed him onto the bed and crawled on top of him. Her skirt was riding up her thighs. Impatiently, she rucked it up higher. She wanted to want him. It felt right. The high of finished a job was something she usually dealt with by scaling a building, but scaling Hardison seemed more fun. She put her knee between his and crawled up his body, kissing his chest and neck on the way to his mouth. 

"Damn, baby," he said, and then she shut him up with more kisses. Her tongue in his mouth seemed to answer all his questions. His hands settled at her waist and she tugged one impatiently to her breasts. Oh, that was nice. His hands were bigger than hers and warmer than hers, even through her shirt and her bra. 

"Both hands," she growled against his lips, and he obeyed. He knew just how to squeeze her, how to tease her nipples. She'd have to thank the other people he'd had sex with. He tugged the hem of her shirt out of her skirt and slipped his hands under it, his fingers knowing on the clasp of her bra. The cups came loose and then his bare hands were on her bare breasts and it felt incredible.

"Okay?" he asked.

"Mmm," she agreed. She stretched her body out against his. His thigh rose firm between hers. Instinctively, she shifted her hips until she could feel the pressure on her clit. She rocked gently. She could feel Hardison's erection against her hip, rock solid as she moved against him. 

"God, yes," Hardison said. 

"Good," she said, and kissed him again. 

The hard muscle of his thigh felt good under her, so good, but she craved more. She sank down, pressing her hips against his leg. The angle didn't work quite right, so she sat up a little. Hardison obligingly bent his leg so that his thigh was angled under her and yes, that was good. He played with her nipples as she moved. She curved her back so she could kiss him again. She needed his tongue in her mouth. She needed his hands all over her. 

She splayed her knees, rocking frantically against his thigh. She was crying out and Hardison was trembling under her. It wasn't enough: something about the angle, or the way the fabric of his trousers slid too smoothly against the fabric of her underwear. She shifted, straddling him fully, and settled on the ridge of his erection instead and yes, that was it. She rubbed herself against him, sliding her fingers down to touch herself and move her folds so that he was half-engulfed by her. 

"Yes," she realized she was saying, "yes, yes, yes." Her voice rose. Hardison squeezed her nipples and her hips jerked, and then she was coming, her body shaking, pleasure overwhelming her in one moment of shock. She kept grinding against him, pleasure nagging at her, and Hardison swore and put one hand on her hip and held her down as he thrust up against her. Parker angled her hips down, her moaning almost a keening sound. She brushed her thumb over her clit and she was coming again, her inner muscles clenching. The noises she was making seemed to drive Hardison wild. He thrust up harder against her, and then he was calling her name, and Parker, who had barely come down from her second orgasm, was coming again, the pleasure shivering through her sharp and edgy and almost too much. Hardison collapsed and Parker rolled off beside him. 

"Congratulations, baby," he said, kissing her forehead. "You've graduated to dry humping. That's basically one degree away from sex." 

"That's not sex?" she said in astonishment.

Hardison burst out laughing. "Ah, Parker," he said. "I guess it depends on who you ask." He looked down. "These pants are ruined. I can't send them to the cleaner's like this." 

"I'm sure they've seen worse," Parker said drowsily. 

"There's your big wet stain," Hardison said, pointing. "And there's mine." He sighed happily. "I guess I need a shower now." 

There was a thumping noise from the wall. "Keep it down in there. Normal people are trying to sleep."

"Eliot," Parker murmured.

"I thought he would have a date," Hardison said. 

"Maybe you should keep it up!" Parker yelled back through the wall. There was a growling noise.

Hardison laughed. He heaved himself up and bent to kiss Parker on the cheek. "Shower?"

She waved her hand lazily. "Later." 

"Hey," he said. "You okay? You liked it?"

"I liked it very much," she said. "I started it."

"Yeah, but I had to make sure," Hardison said. "Sometimes I get halfway through a sandwich and realize I don't want any more of it."

"This one was good all the way through," she told him. "I didn't know I could have so many orgasms in a row. I usually just stop at one."

"I'm so proud of you, Parker," he said softly. 

"We're going to have sex soon," she said to herself. "That's weird. But I like it." 

"I am very much looking forward to it," Hardison told her. "But, uh, no pressure."

"Hmm," she said. "I like champagne, but I like you even better."

"I like you better too," he said. "I'm going to go be less sticky." 

"That sounds smart," she said. "This is why you're the smart one."

"Parker falls asleep immediately after sex," Hardison said. "Confirmed."

"I'm not asleep," Parker mumbled, "and you said we didn't have sex."

He laughed softly. "Technically true. But I bet you'll be passed out in your fancy clothes by the time I get back."

"So when you come back, you can take my clothes off," Parker said. "Everybody wins." 

"This is a good way to end a job," Hardison said as he went into the bathroom. "A damn good way. We should end every job like this."

"That sounds like a proposal," Parker said into the pillow, or maybe she just thought she said it.


	7. For The Very First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parker and Hardison have sex! For sure! (But they think their bed might be big enough for three.)

After the job, Parker and Hardison and Eliot spent three days exploring Brussels while Nate and Sophie went to relive some experience in Florence or Paris or Barcelona or whatever it was. They walked all over the city; Parker idly pondered how to steal Manneken Pis and ate spaghetti out of a paper cone. It was relaxing. She hadn't realized a vacation that didn't involve jumping off of anything could be so enjoyable. Parker looped her arms through Hardison's and Eliot's and grinned at their attempts to speak French. Hardison and Eliot drank a lot of beer and argued genially about what they were going to brew when they got home. They got tipsy and bought fries and waffles at ridiculous hours after the bars closed. Hardison would only get ketchup with his fries and Eliot kept trying to feed him any of the mayonnaise-based sauces.

"Try it!" he growled at Hardison, drunkenly poking another fry into Hardison's lip. "You'll like it! You eat my aioli at home. You love it. Can't get enough. 'Eliot, make that garlicky stuff for my sweet potato fries.' It's not any different than that."

Hardison just shook his head, smearing sauce over his mouth. All three of them knew if he opened his mouth to talk back, Eliot would jam the fry into it. 

"It's just an emulsion!" Eliot insisted. "Try it!"

"What's an emulsion?" Parker asked, eating one of Hardison's fries. "It doesn't sound very appetizing."

"It's eggs and oil, just like aioli," Eliot said. "Just try it. Just try it! Just trust me." He looked deep into Hardison's eyes. "Do you trust me?"

Hardison nodded minutely.

"Just try it," Eliot coaxed. "For me."

Hardison sighed and opened his mouth. Eliot fed him the fry and watched Hardison chew with bright eyes. 

"Good, huh?" Eliot said, grinning.

"It's good," Hardison agreed. "I still like ketchup." 

Eliot's shoulders slumped. "Some days I just don't know why you bought a restaurant. No sense of adventure."

"I'm plenty adventurous," Hardison argued. "I could be at home with my computer but I'm here with you, stealing shit in person and letting you feed me strange foreign sauces." He snatched his fries back from Parker. "Baby! You ate all my ketchup."

Parker shrugged, poking a last ketchup-coated fry into her mouth. "I'm sure Eliot will share his sauce with you."

Somehow, it was a perfect moment, and Parker's heart was so full of love it felt as soft and heavy as a ripe peach. It wasn't just the beer and the fries and the lights and the elegant old buildings and the scent of bread from a nearby bakery. She had a family, a real family that wanted her and wouldn't be the same without her. Eliot looked at her and quirked his eyebrows in a silent question. She shook her head and smiled and leaned against Hardison. 

"I'll get you some more ketchup," she said. 

"It's fine," Hardison grumbled. "I guess I can eat this damn emulsion. I guess white people just love mayonnaise." He dipped a fry into Eliot's sauce in a way that managed to be resentful and playful all at once. 

"I told you you could trust me," Eliot said, shaking his hair back smugly. 

The next night they went out again and got drunk at a bar where the locals were so entertained by their American guests that they goaded Eliot into teaching them how to do body shots. Eliot modeled on Parker and Hardison, licking salt from the insides of their wrists. Parker quit drinking after the first two shots and just did salt and lime, but somehow the whole thing progressed until both Eliot and Hardison were half-shirtless, tonguing salt out of each other's collarbones while the locals laughed and tried out the techniques on their own dates. Parker shivered and giggled as Hardison and Eliot attacked her from both sides, their tongues hot against her neck and their arms tangled around her waist. She held onto them and made them drink water while they snuggled against her, almost falling off their stools. 

The next day, while Hardison and Eliot stayed in the hotel with the curtains drawn, she went out and bought so much chocolate she had to get a second suitcase to transport it all. By dinner, they were mostly recovered, and they had a nice meal, waving off the wine pairings suggested by the sommelier. Overall, she thought, it had been a good job, and they'd certainly enjoyed themselves. Maybe too much, but the three of them hadn't cut loose in a while. She'd liked being wrapped in their collective drunken embrace. She'd felt loved. She'd felt satisfied. And she'd felt, most importantly, very rich. 

She was ready by the time they got home. She just knew. It had been a long couple of flights, with a few hours of layover in between because they all liked to stretch their legs. Even the first class seats left her stiff after so many hours. Hardison had napped and held her hand. Parker had watched movies on the little tv in the back of the seat in front of her. She'd finally fallen asleep on Hardison's shoulder. Across the aisle, Eliot had just been a lump under a blanket. They'd driven back to the Bridgeport in companionable quiet, and Parker had actually taken a shower in her own bathroom instead of Hardison's to wash off all the travel. 

She got out of the shower and wrapped her hair in a towel. Everything in her shower smelled like flowers, different from the spicy scents that Hardison liked. It was nice to smell like him, as if he were there with her, but it was nice to smell like herself too. She wrung the water out of her hair with the towel and tucked the end of it in. She even dug pajamas out of her drawers and put them on: shorts and a shirt that buttoned, dark blue with little flowers on them. The face that looked back at her from the mirror seemed confident. She nodded at her reflection. Everything was going to be great.

She stepped out into the hall and almost ran into Eliot. He glanced at her and then averted his eyes in that way he had that told her her pajamas clung more than he'd expected and he was politely not examining anything better left to someone else's imagination. 

"Off to bed?" he asked. 

"Yeah," she said. "And I'm finally going to have sex with Hardison, like, unequivocably. We've done a lot of stuff, but not that yet."

"You can't..." Eliot started to say, and then sighed and held up his hand for a high five. "Congratulations." 

"Thank you," she said, clasping his hand for a moment before letting go. The weary little lines around his eyes made her heart feel soft and warm again. "You've been really helpful. It's been really nice to have someone to talk to."

"Gotta say, it's kind of a first that I help a pretty lady have sex with someone else," Eliot teased. "But I'm glad you two are happy."

"I don't think we would have been as happy without you," she said. "I don't think he would have asked me for what he wanted." 

"I don't think what he wanted was me meddling in your relationship," Eliot said, his mouth quirking.

"You're part of our relationship," Parker told him. "You're our best friend. Our partner. We don't work the same without you."

"That's sweet," Eliot said. 

"It's true," Parker insisted, poking him in the chest. "We love you. You belong to us."

"I know," he said, squinting at her. "I love y'all too. Now go. I am also going to bed, where I won't have to share my covers with anyone, and I don't want to be kept up by a bunch of sex yelling or whatever." 

"Good night," she said. She went down the hall and tapped on Hardison's door.

"Come in," he said. She opened the door and he cocked his head at her. "You know you don't have to knock. This is your room too."

"Eliot was in the hall," she said. "I didn't know if you wanted him to see you naked. If you were naked. So I knocked."

"Very kind," he said. "As you see, I am not naked." He gestured to his boxers. "I mean it is kind of a near thing. A single button protects my dignity." He tapped it with his fingertip. "It's doing good work." 

"I think you should be naked," she said, crawling across the bed to him. "I think we should have sex."

"I am not in any way opposed to this idea," Hardison said, "but are you sure?"

"Yes," Parker said. She smiled at him. "I'm ready. Let's do it." She leaned in and kissed him. His hand rose to cup her face. His mouth was tender, demanding nothing of her, and she deepened the kiss slowly, enjoying the moment. They kissed for a long time, exploring each other. Parker knelt next to him so she could have her hands free to touch him. She skimmed her fingers over his chest and shoulders and traced a path down his belly. She touched him the way she'd seen him touch himself and he shivered but didn't break the kiss. His hand moved from her face to her hair; his other hand wandered carefully down the slope of her arm. She let herself lean into his touch, feeling warmth start to build inside her, and then leaned further and gently pushed him onto the bed. She climbed on top of him and stretched down to kiss him and kiss him and kiss him until she was breathing fast. 

"Come here, baby," he said. He tugged at her until she was lying on him, their bodies pressed together. She could feel how alive he was underneath her, how strong and vital, his chest rising and falling against hers. He was hard under her too, his erection pinned between them. "What do you need?"

"Touch me," she whispered, propping herself up a little. "Show me what to want."

"Want my hands," he murmured, running them all over her. "Want me to touch your tits." He squeezed them softly, but she could sense the tension in him. "Want me to kiss your neck." She obligingly lowered herself and he blazed a trail of kisses down her neck and into the V of her pajama shirt. He unbuttoned the top couple of buttons and pulled her forward. "Want my mouth on your nipples." She gasped as he demonstrated, his tongue pushing and his mouth pulling until Parker was clutching at the blanket. 

"Want me to run my hands over your ass," he told her, and she rocked forward onto her knees over him so he could do just that. Everything felt different, new and intoxicating. The pressure of his palms on her ass made her legs spread and her hips rock, her body's intuition overriding any conscious thought. "Want me to touch your clit." He waited, his eyes searching her face, and she nodded. His fingers slipped under the waistband of her shorts, tracing a circle around her hips as if they had all the time in the world. Parker shivered. Oh yes, she wanted this. Every molecule of her was convinced, completely attuned to Hardison's touch. The elastic of her shorts pulled tight against his wrist as he worked one hand lower, brushing it over the soft swell of her pubis, and then, oh, and then his fingers brushed her folds and Parker moaned. He traced the line of them without venturing between and she trembled and wriggled. His touch was like ice, except that it wasn't cold: it was shocking, in the bright way that cold was, and it woke her up all over.

"I want you," she gasped, and he finally let his fingers slide between her folds and graze her clit. Her next gasp was half a sob. She let her head hang down. It was nothing like touching herself. The unexpectedness of it made her pleasure more intense by some factor Hardison might have calculated, but she couldn't. 

"Yes," she said, "more." She leaned down to kiss him, the now-familiar hunger making her bold and aggressive. His fingertips circled her clit slowly and she couldn't keep her hips from jumping. She nipped at Hardison.

"Baby, we've got all night," Hardison murmured. "As far as I'm concerned, we've got forever. Take a deep breath." 

She breathed against his lips. His fingers dipped lower, and that was easier. The pressure of his palm against her clit was sweet but less concentrated, and so was the way it felt when his fingers pressed against her opening. 

"Oh, Hardison, yes," she said. His fingers moved deftly, making her slippery everywhere, and then pushed into her, just a little. Parker moaned and kissed him, her tongue urgent against his. His fingers pushed in again, a little further, and she pushed down and took him in deeper. Still slow, still sweet, but she needed more than the almost superficial pressure of just his fingertips. She needed it to feel real. She wanted to feel him fill her up. She smiled at him and he looked up at her like she was art. 

"I want you," she told him again.

"You've got me," he assured her. He drew his fingers out and thrust gently back in, looking into her eyes with an expression so awed she almost felt teary. 

"I want more than your hands," she said. "I mean, this is amazing, but we've waited a long time, I think."

"Do you want my tongue?" he offered, and she could see that he was blushing. Her inner muscles clenched lightly around his fingers at the thought. She was grateful to her body, the way it knew how to respond when she let it. He wanted this — he wanted her — and she needed to understand every facet of his desire. For answer, she rolled off him and wriggled out of her shorts.

"I want your tongue," she said, and let her legs fall open. He grinned at her and kissed her so softly and sweetly it felt like chocolate, the sweet hit of sugar and caffeine in her blood. He kissed his way down her body, rubbed his cheeks against the inside of her thighs, and settled between her knees. 

"Tell me if you don't like it," he said, and bent his head. His fingers parted her folds and then his tongue, oh, fuck, his tongue. Parker's whole brain went fuzzy, like the touch of his tongue had turned all her thoughts into the static on an old tv screen. Everything below her waist felt hot and liquid. Parker reached down and clutched at Hardison's hand, drawing it to her breasts. She kissed his knuckles. His fingers were sticky from touching her; she sucked at them curiously and heard him groan between her legs. The taste was tangier than she'd expected, and saltier. Hardison did something with his mouth that took away her ability to do anything but lie there and arch against him. She put his hand on her breast and he caressed it abstractly. She touched her other breast, rolling her nipple between her fingers. 

It was incredible. It was everything. Parker was losing herself in a sea of pleasure. She was moaning, a high breathy sound that got louder and louder. It was too much. She wanted to look at him, to see his face when she came. She put her hand down and cupped his head, her fingers sliding down to push at his cheek. He lifted his head immediately.

"Not good?" he asked.

"Too good," she gasped. He grinned and wiped his glossy-wet mouth on the inside of her leg. "I want to be able to see you when I come."

"You know just what to say to a man," he said, making his way up her body. When he kissed her, she tasted herself again, but then all she could taste was him.

"How do you want to do this?" Hardison murmured. 

"I don't know," she said. "There seem to be a lot of options."

He laughed softly. "There are. But I think this time you should be on top. That way you're in control." 

"I want to be face to face," Parker told him. 

"Sitting up then," he said, rumpling the pillows out of the way and scooting back against the headboard of their bed. Parker hooked her fingers into the waistband of his boxers and he lifted his hips and let her take them off him. He pulled her close and undid the last few buttons of her pajama top. 

"You are so beautiful," he said. 

"You too," she said, and lowered herself until her face was in his lap. She looked up at him. "Fair's fair."

"If you want to, baby, I am almost constitutionally incapable of saying no to you," he told her. "But you don't have to." 

"I know," she said. "You don't have to tell me. I promise you I won't ever do anything I don't want to, okay?"

"Just trying to take care of you the best way I know how," he said, running his hand over her hair. 

"Tell me what to do," she said. "I mean, I've seen the videos, but I'm not sure."

"A lot of tongue, no teeth," he said. "Just explore. Start slow, just the top." She listened, licking at the head of his cock. It tasted a little bitter, a little salty. It was harder and hotter and felt bigger than she'd thought it would be. She wrapped her fingers around the base of it and let her lips stretch over her teeth as she let her tongue map the delicate skin, the veins, the little ridge of tissue. Hardison groaned and stroked her hair. "That's good, baby," he assured her. "That's so good." 

She devoted herself to his cock for a few minutes, her arms braced over his thighs. She couldn't take him in as deep as she'd seen in the videos she'd watched, but the noises he was making seemed appreciative. She licked and sucked at him until he was trembling a little. "Enough," he said, tugging very gently at her hair. "That's not how I want this to end. Not tonight." 

She let his cock slide slowly out of her mouth and sat up. He was looking at her with that worshipful expression again. 

"Is it time?" she asked.

"I think so," he said. He rolled onto his hip and pulled open the drawer of the nightstand, bringing out a box of condoms and a bottle of lube.

"I have the implant," she said, poking at the skin of her arm. "Like a robot." 

"That's very sexy," he said, "but we are not risking anything your first time out." He ripped open the foil carefully and rolled the condom on, then slicked it up with a little lube. "Everything just right for my girl," he said, and held out his hands. "C'mere."

She slid over to him. Anticipation pounded in the slippery space between her legs, as insistent as knocking. She'd never been so aware of her pulse before at a time she wasn't in danger. And she was safe with Hardison, always and completely. She knew that as well as she knew her name. He coaxed her over, had her sling her knee over his lap. His hands gentled down her sides and then his fingers were opening her up again. He stroked her clit and she rose up, her hands cupping the side of his face. She kissed him, her mouth wide, her breath heavy. She couldn't help making little cries of pleasure. 

"Do you want my fingers?" he asked, and she did, oh yes, she did, and she gasped her affirmation and then he was pushing into her. One finger, deeper than before, the pressure of him inside her so different from the rigid toys she'd used. 

"More," she panted, "please." Two fingers, stroking her from the inside out as she pulled back far enough to look at him. Her vision felt hazy. Hardison looked almost like he was glowing. His thumb brushed back and forth across her clit as he thrust his fingers slowly into her, and fuck, what she wanted was his cock but she knew he was right to take it in stages. 

"More," she demanded, and he watched her carefully as he let a third finger push into her. She could feel herself stretching to accommodate him, but it wasn't a bad feeling. It was like any other time she'd pushed her muscles for a little more, a little further, the kind of pain that meant progress instead of harm. His thumb kept moving on her clit and she hadn't even imagined it would feel like this. It didn't look like it felt like this. Hardison was inside her, part of her, and she felt like part of him too, like they were two pieces of one being that had been separated too long. She looked into his eyes and she could see he felt the same. 

"I want you," she told him. "All of you." 

"You have me," he promised. He slid his fingers out of her. She felt hollowed out, bereft. She almost whimpered. But then his hand was on his cock and his other hand was on her hip, guiding her down, and together they fit him into her. She eased down inch by inch until she was resting on his hand, and then he unwrapped his fist one finger at a time until she was full to the hilt with him. 

"Oh," she said, and she was almost crying, but she wasn't sad, he needed to know she wasn't sad.

"I love you," he told her, and when she looked at him, his eyes looked just as bright. 

"I love you," she said.

"This is your show," he told her. "Move as much or as little as you want. If it doesn't work, we can change positions. But this way, you can still look at me."

"And I can still kiss you," she said, leaning forward. It was trickier to keep her mouth on his as her hips rose and fell, but she managed. Hardison reached forward and found her clit with his fingers and Parker gasped into his mouth. It was so much to have him inside her, touching her everywhere, and then feel his agile fingertips rubbing what felt like the epicenter of all pleasure, like there was too much to come from just her body and his. She was connected to a universe of sensation, hot and cold and bright and searing, and Hardison was with her. She could feel him trying to restrain himself. He held his hips steady under her. Later, she'd drive him so wild he wouldn't be able to help losing control, she promised herself, with the fragment of her mind that could form coherent thought. But she was grateful for his kindness and his courtesy too. She was glad that this first time was special. 

Every stage of it felt different: the delicious anticipatory pressure when she rose so far that he was almost at her entrance again, the gradual feeling of fullness, the velvety shock as his cock brushed some knot of nerves inside her, and the solid satisfaction of having him all the way in. She tried short thrusts and longer ones, slower and faster, and all the while he kissed her and looked at her with love in his eyes and touched her as if her enjoyment was all that he cared about. 

"Is it good?" she panted. "For you?"

"Baby, it's so fucking good I don't even have words," he assured her. 

"I think I want to slow down," she said. "I don't want to miss it."

"You won't miss it," he told her, "but I support you."

She slowed her hips until it was more of a rock than a rise. He was deep in her; she could feel his wiry hair against her folds. He smiled at her. His fingers moved in easy circles around her clit. 

"Parker," he said tenderly. "My sweet lady."

"Hi," she said. "Thank you."

"For what?" he asked.

"For all of this," she said. "For being you."

"Can't be anybody else," he said, smiling. "Not with you." He thought about it. "Not unless roleplay is something you want to try." 

"Thank you for being patient," she said. 

"Baby, I love you," he told her. "No part of this was any kind of sacrifice for me."

She rocked up and back, up and back. The sensation was different, moving so slowly, less intense but more fulfilling somehow. She put Hardison's free hand on her breast and let hers move over his chest, teasing his nipples. She watched enjoyment and desire flicker through his eyes. Pleasure was building in her, slow but steady. She kept herself from moving faster. She wanted to make the moment last. She wanted to watch Hardison watch her like this forever. 

"I'm glad I'm here with you," she panted. 

"I'll always be here for you," he promised her, and she leaned forward and kissed him. She felt almost dizzy with pleasure, the sweetness of it overwhelming. Hardison's fingers moved against her clit in a different pattern and she moaned. She wanted to bury her face in his neck, the feelings within her so intense they felt private, but she had to let him share them, to let him see what he'd done for her. It was what she'd been afraid of, more than any of the physical aspects, and he'd been there for her every step of the way. She looked into his eyes, bracing herself on his chest.

"It's all right, Parker," he said gently, and the sound of her name almost undid her. The pleasure built and built inside of her, his cock and his fingers pressing all the right places, until she could feel tension coiling in her thighs and belly. She gave herself over to it, watching Hardison watch her. This was a victory they shared, a thing they'd made together, and she wanted him to see every moment of it. 

"I'm," she started, and then moaned, overcome.

"Yes, baby," he murmured, his fingers stroking a new pattern on her clit. Still soft, still sweet, but a purpose behind the gentleness. Parker's hips rocked and her knees spread, taking him in deeper still, as far as he could go. She wanted to feel all of him. And she was rising, and she was rising, and he was so right inside her, and his fingers, fuck, his fingers knew things about her she hadn't guessed yet, and then the pleasure was a blaze inside her and she was burning up. She could feel her body shudder, her muscles clutching around the thickness of his cock, and she'd never come like this before, in Hardison's arms, on Hardison's cock, and she sobbed out his name.

"I got you, baby, I got you," he assured her, pulling her close and wrapping her in his arms until she was calmer. She sat up again.

"Now you," she said. "Whatever you need." 

"Watching you come is basically all I need," he told her. He let his hips rise under her, gentle but insistent, and she learned how to take him all over again. She matched his movements, countered them, and he groaned and pulled her close for a kiss. He was pushing into her and she could feel his thighs tightening under hers. 

"I want you to come," she whispered to him, and he moaned her name and thrust up into her once, twice, three times, and then came, braced up into her like she was his home. She held him as he trembled and panted, stroking his hair. 

"Okay," he said after a moment. "I'm okay." He helped her rise off his lap, holding the condom tight at the base of his cock as she let him slide out of her. Her muscles clenched again like she could still hold him. She settled next to Hardison, leaning against the headboard, and put her head on his shoulder.

"That was amazing," he said softly. 

"Mm," she said. "I think we should do it again later." 

He laughed. "We can do that. But right now I'm going to go clean up." He kissed her and rolled off the bed. She heard water splashing in the bathroom. He came back with a damp washcloth and offered it to her. "I don't know if you need this." 

She wiped herself down and took the washcloth back to the bathroom. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she looked wild: tousled and flushed, a woman whose desires had all been satisfied. She smirked at her reflection and leaned into the bedroom. 

"I think we should have sex with Eliot," she said. 

Hardison was lying on the bed, looking pleased but exhausted. "That is not what I expected you to say," he said after a moment. "On the other hand, I can't really disagree. A weaker man might be offended, though, to hear you talking about another man right after you've done the deed."

Parker came and sat on the edge of the bed. "I loved it," she told him. "I love you. Do you think he knows we bought this restaurant so he would stay with us?"

Hardison shrugged. "I can't ever tell if he's oblivious or if he thinks we're oblivious." 

"We should find out," Parker said.

"We probably should," Hardison said. "Someday."

"No time like the present," Parker said. She marched to the door and threw it open. "Eliot! Eliot!!"

"What?" He burst out of his door down the hall, caught sight of her, and froze. He looked away, but she could tell his eyes kept darting back. "If you had a sex accident, you better buy a first aid kit." 

"No accidents," she said. "Lots of yelling, though. Do you want to have sex with us?"

"Uh," Eliot said. 

"You haven't been having sex with other people," Parker pointed out. "I kind of think it's because you want to have sex with us."

"We bought you a restaurant," Hardison said, coming up behind her and leaning over her shoulder. "But it's definitely not conditional on anything. Just offering you some options."

"I mean, you could probably tell from the yelling, but we're pretty good at sex," Parker offered. "And you already love us. So."

"It's a little more complicated than that for most people," Hardison said gently. "Let him think about it."

"Think about it?" Eliot said, and Parker saw him glancing at both of them. 

"Give him some time," Hardison said, drawing Parker back. 

"It's okay if you don't want to have sex with us," Parker said. "But I think it would be fun. And then the fact that we're all going to stay together forever makes more sense."

"Forever," Eliot said. "Huh." 

"So we're going to go back to bed," Hardison said, pulling Parker against him. "You just knock if you get inspired. Again, no pressure. Does seem like a pretty comprehensive solution to the drought you seem to be facing though. Food for thought." He tugged Parker back and closed the bedroom door. 

"Do you think he'll come?" Parker asked. She looked at her pajamas, decided against them, and crawled under the covers. 

"I do not know, baby," Hardison said, joining her. "Rarely have I seen a man more flabbergasted. But you did kind of come at him with all you had."

"It's all I've got," Parker said. 

"I know," Hardison said, kissing her. "Maybe he'll come. Maybe he won't. Either way, I'm happy with you." 

She yawned. "I'm happy with you. I just want Eliot to be happy too."

"We'll figure it out," Hardison promised. "Together. But don't get mad if he doesn't knock on our door tonight."

"I'll give him a week," Parker said, cuddling down in the pillows. "I think he'll figure it out."

"I love your optimism," Hardison told her, putting his arm around her.

"I love your penis," Parker said, and Hardison laughed. 

"Ah, me too," he said. "I'm glad we agree. You can love it again in the morning, if you're feeling ambitious."

"You can have sex in the morning?" Parker asked, astonished, but she was asleep before Hardison stopped laughing enough to answer.


	8. Un, Deux, Trois

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliot agrees that three is a magic number.

Parker was pressed up against the wall, her foot hooked over Hardison's shoulder as he thrust into her, her head thrown back in ecstasy, when Eliot pounded on the door. 

"Shh, baby, shh!" Hardison said, laughing, and called out, "Are we too loud?"

Eliot flung open the door. 

"Thought I locked that," Hardison murmured.

Eliot looked wild, his chest and feet bare and his hair disheveled. "Like I can't handle a locked door. What the fuck, Parker."

"What what the fuck," she said. Hardison stepped back and she reluctantly let her leg drop, watching Eliot watch both of them. Her body throbbed with want. "We're kind of busy, Eliot."

"And very naked," Hardison murmured.

"Oh, okay, you're busy, but five days ago, you invited me to participate in all of this!" Eliot gestured inarticulately, his whole face creased in a frown. "My whole week has just been listening to you two have what's gotta be pretty incredible sex while I have an existential crisis!"

"That sounds frustrating," Hardison said in a mild voice. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No!" Eliot said. "I very badly want to fuck you about it!"

"I kinda don't see what the problem is, then," Parker said. "You're here. We're here. Let's have sex. I don't really know how that works with three people, but I bet we can figure something out. I mean, I barely know how it works with two people."

Eliot stomped closer, pointing accusingly at them. "I told you before. I'm not getting in the middle of something that doesn't have space for me." 

Hardison took a step away from Parker. He opened his hand. "Look. Space."

"And I've never done anything real with a dude," Eliot said. "And I think I'm in pretty badly love with y'all, and what the fuck am I supposed to do about that?" 

"You have had a rough week," Hardison said, shaking his head in sympathy.

"Yeah, I fucking have," Eliot shot back. "I've been jerking off a lot about it. Still don't have any answers for some reason."

"I have some," Parker said. "But you have to come over here to hear them." She crooked a finger, beckoning Eliot toward her. He took one slow stiff step toward her, and then another. "A little closer." He took another step. "One more, baby," she coaxed. He narrowed his eyes at her, but obeyed. Parker wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in to murmur in his ear. "We love you. We want you. Stay with us." 

Eliot rested his chin on her shoulder and put his arms around her waist. She could feel his erection pressed against her hip. His hair tickled her neck as he turned to look at Hardison. "I don't know how to do this," he said. 

"I think it's new territory for all three of us," Hardison said. "That's never stopped us before. And it's not like you don't understand the equipment, when it comes to the parts in bed." 

"It's not about the sex," Eliot said scornfully. "I've had sex with two people before. Granted they were both women, but I know my way around a dick." He paused. Parker rubbed his back. "It's the rest of it. The forever part." 

"Do what I do," Parker said. "Take it one day at a time." She kissed his shoulder. "Today you love us. It's okay." She nuzzled at his skin. He smelled clean and woodsy. He'd taken a shower for them, she thought, and dried his hair. 

"The way I was raised, it was one man, one woman, that's it," Eliot said. "But pretty much everything else I got taught was wrong too. So I don't know."

"I don't really know either," Hardison assured him. "I mean, it's not like we talked about this whole situation. It was just kind of something we both knew." 

"I talked about it," Parker said. "I said we should have sex with Eliot."

"Yeah, but that was pretty much the whole conversation," Hardison said. "'Cause then you paraded your naked ass out into the hall to proposition him."

Eliot chuckled. He leaned back to look at her. "I did kinda like that." He glanced between them. "You bought the restaurant for me?"

"I really thought that part was obvious," Hardison said. "Guess I gotta work on my 'bribing Eliot to be our boyfriend' game. In fairness to me, I didn't really understand entirely that that's what I was doing. I just knew it was an investment in our collective future." He came closer, moving slowly like he was trying not to spook Eliot. "I didn't know what that future looked like. I still don't. It's kind of up to you at this point."

"I mean, I vote yes," Parker said. "Whatever yes is. It feels weird to leave you out of this. It's like we're complete together, but also we're not." 

"I say yes," Hardison says. "And yeah, it's kind of terrifying. But she's right — it doesn't feel right not to give you the option to be in on this. Not after everything we've been through together." He shrugged. "Feels like we made the choice a long time ago. But this isn't a majority rules situation. You can say no. Or you can say yes to sex and no to the rest of it. We can still have some fun." He winked at Eliot. "We're a little more versatile than your hand is."

Eliot looked at Hardison. "Put your arms around me," he said. 

"I can do that," Hardison said. He moved into Eliot's side and wrapped his long arms around both of them. 

Eliot sighed, but he didn't sound sad. "Yeah. That's fine. This is fine." He tilted his face up to Hardison's, asking wordlessly for a kiss, and Hardison bent to kiss him. Parker watched, desire flaring up in her again. Watching Hardison kiss Eliot was almost as good as being kissed by Hardison. She could tell Hardison was a little less gentle with Eliot, a little more demanding, and Eliot demanded right back. Parker slid her hands down Eliot's back and around his hips to unbutton his jeans. He hummed into Hardison's mouth as she slid down the zipper and pushed down the jeans and his boxers. She dropped to her knees to tug the fabric lower, kissing her way from his hip down his thigh, pausing to draw the tip of her nose along the length of his cock. She coaxed him to stand on one foot and then the other, and then he was just as naked as they were. 

"Fucking yes," said Eliot against Hardison's lips. "I say yes." 

"Good," Parker said. "Now will you pretty please have sex with us?"

"Goddammit, I already said yes," Eliot said, but he didn't sound mad at all. He ran his hands over Hardison's chest a little tentatively and then more firmly. "What can I do?"

"Anything you want, baby," Hardison said, sounding amused. "I will tell you that I don't think any of us is prepared for anal tonight, but other than that."

"Yeah, we haven't done that at all yet," Parker said. "It seems a little complicated when there are so many other options to try." 

"Can I," Eliot said, and licked his lips. "Can I watch for a little while." He cleared his throat. "You just sounded like you were really enjoying that and I made you stop." 

"You want to watch me fuck Parker against the wall?" Hardison said, reaching out to stroke Parker's breasts with one hand and Eliot's hip with the other. 

"Yeah, I really do," Eliot said. 

"What do you think, baby?" Hardison asked Parker.

"I like it," she said decisively. She grabbed Eliot's hand and put it on her breasts next to Hardison's. "You don't have to be shy."

"I'm not shy," Eliot said, frowning at her. "I might be a little overwhelmed." 

"That's fine," Hardison said. His fingers strayed a little closer to Eliot's cock. "We're a lot to take in." 

"Oh, I can take it," Eliot said. "Just...slowly." 

"We are experts on slowly," Parker said. "Do you want to feel how wet Hardison made me?"

Eliot made a strangled noise and Hardison laughed. "Yeah, she just says things like that." 

Parker took Eliot's hand and guided it between her legs. She laced her fingers between his and used them both to part her folds. She was still slick, maybe even more than before; watching Hardison kiss Eliot had definitely made things happen inside her. Eliot swore reverently. 

"Yeah," Hardison said. "Like that."

"You touch me too," Parker demanded, and Hardison let the hand on her breasts fall to twine with theirs. Their three hands moved gently, somebody's fingers slipping into her and somebody's fingers on her clit and Parker's fingers wandering between the two. She couldn't help her hips rocking a little. "Now touch Eliot's cock. If that's okay." She looked at Eliot.

Eliot swallowed hard. "Yeah. Uh, please." Parker extracted her damp hand from between her legs and reached for Hardison's cock. She let Hardison caress Eliot by himself for a few moments, until Eliot's chest was heaving a little, and then she touched him too, stroking both of them. It was good — really good — but Parker wanted more.

"So are you going to fuck me against the wall or what?" she asked Hardison. 

He looked her up and down with lazy, smoldering eyes. "Yes, ma'am, I am," he said. "By special request, as I recall." 

"Yeah, mine," Parker said, tugging him closer. "And also his." Hardison backed her up, half-carrying her. She loved being reminded of his strength. He pinned her, holding her arms above her head while he caressed her clit and her breasts. Parker squirmed and moaned, the pleasure she'd felt before roaring back like a wildfire. Hardison had definitely taught her body how to want his. She whimpered, craving the feel of him inside her. 

"I want you," she told Hardison between kisses. "Now." 

"You can have me," Hardison said, and Parker braced her feet so he could guide himself into her. He rubbed her clit with his thumb as he nudged at her opening. She rocked her hips impatiently and he smirked at her and then pushed into her in one smooth motion. Parker gasped and groaned in satisfaction. 

"Hot fucking damn," Eliot murmured. 

"Lube and condoms on the nightstand," Hardison said to Eliot, "in case you want to find a way to get in on this." 

"Yeah," Eliot said, sounding dazed. "Definitely." 

Hardison reached down and Parker hitched her leg over his hip. Hardison slid his hand up the back of her thigh, lifting her leg higher and higher until her foot was anchored on his shoulder again. 

"So tight," Hardison said. "Damn. Bless your flexible body."

"Does it feel different for you?" Parker asked. 

"Yeah, baby, it feels so good," Hardison assured her. 

"Mm, good," she said. "I think you feel bigger."

He laughed. "You know just what to say to a fella," he told her, and thrust into her. It felt like he filled her up everywhere. Parker wriggled, but she didn't want to get away. It was just so much sensation, being pressed between the wall and Hardison, Hardison's cock inside her; she couldn't hold it all. She had to move. Hardison thrust again and she squeaked and wrapped her arms around him, holding him close. She looked past him at Eliot, who was holding a wrapped condom in one hand and the bottle of lube in the other and looking completely hypnotized. 

"Eliot," she said. "Hurry up and put that on so you can come touch us." 

"Yeah," Eliot said, shaking his head like he was coming out of a trance. He ripped open the foil and rolled the latex down over his cock. He looked at the lube and set it back on the table. It only took a couple of steps to close the space between them and then he was there, standing next to Parker and Hardison. 

"Hey, would you mind just squeezing her tits for me?" Hardison said. "I'm a little busy." 

"No problem," Eliot said. "It would be my pleasure." And then his hands were on her breasts, almost as big as Hardison's, his skin rougher. Eliot clearly knew what he was doing, once he'd gotten started. He didn't need any direction at all. Parker dragged his face closer and kissed him, then passed him to Hardison and just luxuriated in the sensation of the two of them pressed against her. 

"I had an idea," Hardison murmured to Eliot. "You could fuck my thighs while I fuck her, if you want. Or we could make you the wall, and you could fuck her thighs." 

"You," Eliot said. "I...I wanna fuck you right now." 

"Then lube up," Hardison said, smiling down at him. Eliot reached for the bottle. Hardison turned back to Parker. "I'm gonna need you a little higher up on this wall, baby. Ready?" Parker nodded, and Hardison combined a lift and a thrust and then her foot wasn't on the floor anymore. Eliot glanced over, pulled the thickest book off the bookshelf, and wedged it under Parker's foot.

"Thank you," Parker said. 

Hardison looked down. "That's the most action old JRR's maybe ever seen," he said. "But hey, if it works." 

"Didn't even get lube on it," Eliot said. 

"Your reward is getting your ass over here and having the time of your life," Hardison told him. Eliot dripped lube over his cock until it glistened in the light. 

"Kiss me first," Parker said, and Eliot came over and kissed her deeply. He caressed her breasts with slippery fingers, one hand on her chest and one hand stroking Hardison from collarbone to belly. Hardison bent his head and nipped at Eliot until Eliot kissed him. 

"Get to work," Hardison said after a minute. "I've got to tend to our girl here. I'm sure you want to see her satisfied." 

Eliot groaned so deep it was almost a growl. He moved behind Hardison. Parker couldn't see what he was doing, but she could feel him pushing against Eliot's legs. Eliot thrust against Hardison and Hardison thrust into her and it was like pleasure was being passed through all three of them, some kind of chain reaction. They were all moaning and gasping. Parker reached past Hardison's head to tangle her fingers in Eliot's hair. Eliot swore again, sounding delighted, and set a faster rhythm. Hardison matched it, pushing into Parker. She kissed him, frantically, feeling so much that she had to give some of it back. Eliot reached around Hardison to squeeze Parker's breasts, his other hand rubbing up and down Hardison's belly. Hardison turned his head for a sloppy kiss, nipping at Parker's wrist too. 

It was delightful. It was unbearable. It was everything Parker had ever imagined. She was stretched almost to the point of pain, filled almost past the point she'd thought possible, held against the wall by Hardison's hips rocking into hers and Hardison's hands under her ass. And then there was Eliot's hand finding her nipples, Eliot's other hand reaching suddenly for her clit, and Parker was coming undone. She was crying out, even louder than before, but urging them on. Eliot groaned and thrust faster against Hardison, and then Hardison was pounding into her, and she knew she could handle it all and more, that three was the right number for her. And then Eliot was rubbing quick circles around her clit and Parker was rising so fast she couldn't help gasping, and then Hardison was groaning into Eliot's mouth, his hips bucking hard as he came. Parker clutched him to her and Eliot kissed him fiercely. 

"I'm so fucking sorry, baby," he said. "I couldn't hold on. It was too good." 

"It's fine, it's fine," Parker assured him. "Let me down." He eased her leg down carefully and lowered her until both feet touched the floor. She kissed him, thorough enough that he'd know she was happy, and he slumped against the wall. 

"Eliot," she said, and he gazed at her, dreamy and hungry at the same time. She was so fucking close, or she had been. "Want to help me out?"

"Not sure I've ever wanted anything more," Eliot said. "Let me change this just in case." He stripped off the old condom and put on a new one as Hardison cleaned himself up with the wet wipes they'd had the foresight to stash in the bedside table. 

"What do you want, Parker?" Hardison asked. 

"On the bed," she decided. "I want to be in the middle." 

"I've got an idea," Eliot said. He put his arms around Parker and slow-walked her to the bed like they were dancing. He bent to slip his arm under her knees and lift her onto the bed. "On your side, sweetheart. Hardison, lie down behind her." He stretched out in front of Parker. 

"Hey," he said, smiling.

"Hey," she said. 

"I guess we're doing this," Eliot said, looking at her and at Hardison behind her.

"Please, please do this," Parker said. "Right now." 

He reached out and pulled her leg gently over his thigh. It wasn't the leg that had been on Hardison's shoulder, which she was grateful for: that side of her groin felt stretched. Hardison pressed up against her as Eliot pushed into her. 

"Oh, yeah," Eliot groaned, or maybe Parker had said it too; her brain was too scrambled to remember, too desperate for the release of orgasm. Hardison's hands were all over her, and Eliot's were too, and any time she wanted a kiss, somebody's mouth was there for her. She was rising again, almost as fast as before, and Eliot felt different inside her, but she liked the variety. He moved inside her and Hardison groaned into the nape of her neck and someone squeezed her breasts and stroked her clit and _fuck_ , she was coming, her whole body shaking in the firm circle of their arms as they held her together, and Eliot growled and rocked faster into her. All she could manage to do was clutch him to her, opening herself to him as her body shivered with aftershocks. 

"Come on, baby," Hardison murmured, and Eliot growled and pushed them over a little, so that Parker was sandwiched between Hardison on the bed and Eliot heaving above her, and it still felt so fucking good, even though she could feel the pleasure sharpening toward that edge that meant she'd be too sensitive to be touched soon. 

"Yes, Eliot," she said. "Yes, baby, come on." Eliot bucked into her and almost shouted, half-collapsing on the two of them. 

"Oh, God," he said, and Hardison chuckled. Parker drew him down onto them, the weight of him comforting, and let him pant into her shoulder. After a moment, he rolled off them. "I think I do want to do that forever."

"Good," Parker said. "Because we have a lot of things left to try." 

"She's very innovative," Hardison said. "Prepare yourself."

"I mean I'm gonna need half an hour or so," Eliot said. "Unless it's not my cock that's required for the particular service." 

"I think we all need a little while," Parker assured him. She moved gingerly. "I'm a little sore. But not in a bad way." 

"There's no hurry," Hardison said. "We've got all the time in the world. We can, in fact, have sex all over the world if that's what we want."

"And, uh, love each other, right," Eliot said, cleaning himself up and throwing away the condom and the wipe. 

"Definitely that," Parker assured him. 

"I'm more than a little out of practice at that," he told them. "But I kind of think it'll come easy, with you two."

"It's not the only thing that comes easy," Hardison said with a wink. 

"You already know how to love us," Parker said. "You've kind of been doing it all along."

"Yeah, I think you're a natural," Hardison said, yawning. He draped his arm over Parker. 

"Yeah," Eliot said slowly. "Maybe I am."

"Glad you figured it out," Parker said. "I'm going to go pee." She extracted herself from Hardison's sleepy embrace and went to the bathroom. She was definitely going to be sore in the morning, but it had been worth it, every minute of it. She smiled at her bright-eyed, pink-cheeked reflection as she washed her hands. When she came back into the bedroom, Hardison had dimmed the lights, and he and Eliot were curled up against each other under the sheet, all tangled together. Parker turned the lights all the way off and crawled in with them, nestling into the warmth they made. 

"Forever," she whispered into the darkness. "One day at a time."


End file.
